CULINARY SINS and FAIL!
Confess to things you did as a cooking n00b! Or really bad, reckless, and funny things in general regarding cooking!

Mine
-I whisk matcha with a toothbrush I later use for brushing teeth to this day.
-I attempted getting drunk from hon mirin but almost puked.
-I used to chew on used teabags. They were already not that strong and wet, perfect until you rip it with your tooth and it becomes a mess.
-I still can't use a microwave and get anxious because I would make a retard of myself in case of dealing with it in front of anyone or being tasked to warm something by someone.
-I used to boil spaghetti in a tiny vessel. I realized it is the reason it gets sticky almost 2 years later, no more scrubbing till my hand melts at last.
-I fried cutlets in an electric toaster. Oil was everywhere when I returned.
-I tried leaving the remaining food in fridge for later. The bowl was big enough that when I closed it, it just broke from the impact of the door of the fridge and spilled everything.
-I use one hitter glass pot pipes for a straw because plastic straws are banned in Europe.
-I left eggs boiling, it was evening. I went fapping while they boil and decided to get drunk because why not. When I got drunk I decided to smoke pot. I lost track of time and reality. Next morning my flatmates tell me to clean the puke I left through the corridor and the bathroom, they first thought it was blood because of color and being sticky like blood, but in fact it was dark underdigested mochi! And they told me that I was an absolute fucking retard having had forgotten that the eggs were on fire the entire night. I only realized what had happened the following day. Landlord was not informed as far as I know.