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File: f71a526dac1b6f0b4b8b12aa5fd91807.jpg
(91 KB, 827x824)[ImgOps]
93243
No.165619 +
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[Reply]
:dark: A heyurizen? A sex haver? Of course you won't believe it... but its true, and I took it too far

As of last month, my relationship with my girlfriend is over.

We had an online relationship, although we lived very close to eachother. We met a few times, and the chemistry was perfect. She loved me, I loved her. She was so cute, perfect body, perfect face, and perfect personality. Every day I thanked the heavens for her :cry:

The opportunity finally came about 2 months ago, she was on break, and her parents were gone for 3 days. She invited me to her house. It was my first time in there.

She changed out of her jeans into some shorts, which really excited me. I made an advance but she rebuffed me, but we still enjoyed the rest of the night

The second night, she invited me back. I asked her beforehand, in an indirect way, whether we could 'do it'. She gave an affirmative.

As night approached, I advanced again, and even though she seemed reluctant, I chalked it up to teenage nervousness

My vision was going white with excitement, I even came in my pants before we even got in bed together. I struggled at first, my PENIS points skywards when its excited, and I struggled to bend it into place

Well, we got things going but she quickly asked me to stop because it was painful :dark:

We kept trying, and eventually got going again. But she was very uncomfortable, and she started yelling for me to stop as I was about to climax.

I didn't listen, I came inside her and she pushed me off...

(1/2)
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29 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.165701 +
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>>165622
>it still feels horrible to think that she'll go off with some other stupid guy
... weren't YOU the stupid guy in this case? sounds like she had zero fun.
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No.165728 +
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there are only two possible options:
a: OP is lying about the details and raped a girl (;´Д`)
b: the girl is a psycho bitch (;´Д`)

well, there is the unlikely c: OP has a BIG DICK ヽ(´∇`)ノ
but like, TOO BIG (;ﾟ∀ﾟ)
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No.165729 +
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File: 1761178470570339.jpg
(45 KB, 640x774)[ImgOps]
46628
>>165728
OP pics of dick or didnt happen
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No.165730 +
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>>165728
OP IS A HERO A COOL AND A PHILOSOPHER IF FIRST
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No.165736 +
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i totally had sex with a girl and my dick was so big she screamed
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File: evolution.jpg
(304 KB, 1280x883)[ImgOps]
311544
No.165662 +
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[Reply]
Evolution is GAY AND FAKE!!!
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5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.165704 +
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You silly humans can just press and hold the B button to stop it.
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No.165716 +
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but it's in spore and everything in spore is real
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No.165719 +
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you're gay and fake :drool::drool::drool::drool::drool::drool::drool:
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No.165725 +
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i think a monkey could hold an onahole
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No.165726 +
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>>165662
When I was in college, taking evolutionary anthropology, all I could think during class was how much I wanted to FUCK the ancient pre-modern human girls and become the reason why mankind has its intelligence with my superior genes from the future. ヽ(´∇`)ノ
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File: tree.png
(93 KB, 300x400)[ImgOps]
95548
No.165693 +
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[Reply]
TEH ULTIMATE CHRISTMASU TREE
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No.165698 +
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Slutty tree! :biggrin:
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No.165723 +
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>>165693
sexy tree
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File: 12603016.jpg
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27106
No.165700 +
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[Reply]
ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!
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No.165722 +
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COCK CLOUD!!!!!!!!1
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File: tarantulas-Romdeng-1620x1080-2198692558.jpg
(145 KB, 1620x1080)[ImgOps]
148763
No.165605 +
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[Reply]
AAAAAAAA FRIED SPIDERS ARE SO FUCKING GOOD AND DELICIOUS MMMMM
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No.165650 +
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GROSS!!:xp:
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No.165718 +
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i doubt this claim
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File: jodo.png
(106 KB, 218x280)[ImgOps]
108611
No.165695 +
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[Reply]
>When I wanted to do the rape scene, I explained to [Mara Lorenzio] that I was going to hit her and rape her. There was no emotional relationship between us, because I had put a clause in all the women's contracts stating that they would not make love with the director. We had never talked to each other. I knew nothing about her. We went to the desert with two other people: the photographer and a technician. No one else. I said, 'I'm not going to rehearse. There will be only one take because it will be impossible to repeat. Roll the cameras only when I signal you to [...] And I really... I really... I really raped her. And she screamed."
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No.165696 +
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masterpiece
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No.165697 +
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Hawt.
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File: 3528463850.jpg
(65 KB, 1280x720)[ImgOps]
66819
No.165544 +
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[Reply]
HEYURI SAUCE
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5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.165610 +
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>>165554
No, BECAUSE we have green semen they have green hair
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No.165613 +
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File: HeyuriJam.png
(1.06 MB, 1667x1667)[ImgOps]
1111573
that's a pretty smooth color, I have a feeling it's pretty good...

But not as good as the Heyuri Jam™! Heyuri Jam™ is the latest in jam technology, created only from highest quality fruit and spent uranium rods! Millions of people of all races have praised Heyuri Jam™ for its quality, affordability and, above all, TASTE!
Born from the genius minds at Heyuri Corp, founded in 1974, the Heyuri Jam™ was originally the Heyuri Juice™, unfortunately the recipe back then didn't get much traction but the owner, Richard Lolico, while having passionate anal sex with Kaguya on top of the Heyuri Juicifier™, accidentally knocked a jar of expired milk into the Heyuri Juice™ and that was the birth of the first iteration of Heyuri Jam™!
Come on! What are you waiting for?!
Available at a Heyuri store near you

"Better than sex!" -Virgin who tried Heyuri Jam™
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No.165669 +
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File: hanma.gif
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752888
>>165613
GODDAMNIT, KAGUYA!! :angry:
TEN TIMES I BOUGHT HEYURI PREMIUM! TEN TIMES!!
AND STILL I SEE ADS IN EVERY THREAD!!! WTF?!!! FIX IT NAO!!! :angry:
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No.165687 +
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File: 003229.png
(1.86 MB, 1080x1419)[ImgOps]
1949787
yummmmmmm heyurifredo :biggrin:
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No.165689 +
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File: 1621981097219.jpg
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874994
https://museum.heyuri.net/arhiva/heyuri.net/orz/b/11416.xml

We once had Heyuri cookies :drool:
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File: SPOILER_4.mp4
(648 KB, 720x1280)
664300
No.165684 +
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[Reply]
i love fishing ( ´ω`)
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No.165688 +
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I FUCKING LOL'D
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File: danbo-amazon-cherry-blossom-spring-wall(…).jpg
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158267
No.165583 +
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[Reply]
who is under that box :unsure: also figurine bread :shii:
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1 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.165585 +
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File: okamoto-danbo-manga-character-condoms-2(…).jpg
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10435
ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!
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No.165657 +
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File: not a lolicon.jpg
(4.15 MB, 3024x4032)[ImgOps]
4356352
>>165583
>figurines
Here.
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No.165673 +
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>>165657
i regret not picking up pani poni dash at the store for cheap
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No.165677 +
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>>165657
Excellent collection. :biggrin:
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No.165685 +
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File: this really bruns my brun.jpg
(1.31 MB, 3024x2268)[ImgOps]
1368944
>>165673
Here's one I picked up in LA
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File: Jubilee-Watermelons-SS-1591329778.jpg
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57673
No.165593 +
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[Reply]
MELONZ
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No.165594 +
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>>165593
Raita melons ヽ(´∇`)ノ
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No.165603 +
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ｷﾀ━━━(・∀・)━━━!!
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No.165631 +
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File: IMG_0477 watermelon face.jpg
(232 KB, 1024x768)[ImgOps]
238423
>>165593
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File: fda8ff055466bef2cc60a60174ac3442.mp4
(11.73 MB, 1920x1080)
12302808
No.165320 +
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[Reply]
this shit is the weirdest fetish I've ever seen in my life :dark: I don't even want to imagine the person who has this kind of fetish :closed-eyes:
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10 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.165410 +
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File: 1458048513427 euphonium wtf.png
(949 KB, 730x727)[ImgOps]
972567
This is my fetish .. :biggrin:
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No.165523 +
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File: lockpick.mp4
(1.47 MB, 480x640)
1537096
ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!
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No.165536 +
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>>165320
I really wish I hadn't seen this
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No.165592 +
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File: haruhidiapertransformation.jpg
(21 KB, 474x248)[ImgOps]
22479
Can you fap to this??? (ﾟー｀)
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No.165606 +
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yeah... must be a real weird sort of person who gets off to this... :sweat2: right guys?
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File: 996521bd3add5eb6fcf463a1d7db6705.jpg
(80 KB, 357x411)[ImgOps]
82015
No.165391 +
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[Reply]
COMMENCING OPERATION "TINY PENIS, BIG LOAD"

GIVE US A SHOTA BOARD
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No.165604 +
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>>165391
chico is my absolute favorite
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File: d19435a3ad707a314853cb18fdc1e711.jpg
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66508
No.165395 +
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[Reply]
SHOTA BOARD. NAO!
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No.165599 +
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cute
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File: I STOLE UR LOLIZ.png
(352 KB, 300x300)[ImgOps]
361373
No.165588 +
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[Reply]
IVE DONE IT, IVE STOLEN CHRISTMAS, AND BEST OF ALL THOSE FAGS WILL NEVER KNOW (｀∇´)
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No.165589 +
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santa-san... wheres mah lolis? :cry: :cry: :cry:
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File: 61yrRDV1mHL._AC_SL1200_.jpg
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75915
No.164930 +
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[Reply]
Whats a good thinkpad for basic internetting? 💻☺

Anyone knows? Thinking about getting one used.
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24 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.165532 +
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>>164930
system76 makes some cool looking modern ones without IME if that matters to you, but they are a gazillion dorrar each
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No.165573 +
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>>165505
who still uses dvds on their laptop. :sweat3:
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No.165575 +
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>>165573
how else am i meant to watch rozen maiden?
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No.165576 +
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>>165575
idk
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No.165578 +
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>>165532
i dont really think IME is that big of a deal.
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