Mine
1. I almost poured coke instead of soy sauce into my soup twice
2. I stepped aboard a train and sat for 10 minutes, then I realized that mine is on the opposite side and I ran and stepped inside as it was starting and it became a win
3. A bottle of vodka slipped from my hand, I tried catching it but I only bounced it and it was spinning perfectly in the vertical axis until it finally fell with all the impact going to the neck of the bottle. The neck broke, the rest landed with close to no vodka spilled and it looked like a glass without that neck. I filtered out glass and drank
4. I was spamming images into a powerpoint I got access into to annoy the owner, I DID NOT drag cp and almost dropped it all, very close
5. A junkie once tried harassing me but I acted like a violent schizphrenic and he ran and I tried chasing him for a while saying that I want to drink his blood, hilarious!!! I fear these fuckers but you cannot look weak to a wild animal, you must appear stronger! otherwise it stabs you with an HIV needle first!
6. I was looking for my stuff once it fell dark in an orchard when I got drunk and the fire died, I struck my face just between my eyes into an old cut remains of a branch, it was very sharp, i almost lost an eye, winning failure
7. While I was in that orchard drinking, a jerry filled with gas almost exploded but I saved it from teh fire instantly as a retard threw it in and i saved the day
9. During mandatory military examination when they assign people into ability groups I simply said i cant see the letters that they point for fun and because i dont want to go to war, such is the case of european youth, and surprisingly they just wrote im a retard and i will never ever during my lifetime be drafted, my eyes are pretty much 0.00 and 0.00 off
9. I almost filled my onahole with beer instead of a lubricant (just a moment ago, it inspired me)