Off-Topic@Heyuri

squid-boochi!

FUCK

I'm just a neko...

this is a test

omg i can use purin outside of lounge ヽ(´∇`)ノ

nigger :pruin:

nyaa

Is this one of those "how to draw manga" by filthy gaijin?

>>142009
that's a book by Hikaru Hayashi

your eyes cannot tell the difference between real nipponese artistry and gaijin scribbling, and thus must be plucked out

thank you loomis for your teachings

NO

do you lige chiggen?

>>142023
do you consider yourself as a productive person?

>>142025
NOPE

YOU ARE HIRED. CAN YOU START WORKING IN 10 YEARS?

>>142035
NEET hurrayヽ(´ー｀)ノ

Sign here.

With signing this contract, you are hereby agreeing to be locked inside a dark room with nothing to do or experience. All that will be left is a ticking clock - that will stay as a reminder how teh time you haev left. Time will go stale as you go insane!

>>141991

btw, i need to confess something to you guys...

i'll confess later actually, i'll sleep

Who are you again? You need to post EVERYDAY if u want ME to remember YOU!

>>141969
CIRNO FROG RAPE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>142020
she is clearly holding her legs apart by her own free will, can hardly be called rape

When I was around 10, my cousin had what I would describe now as a sexual fetish, but back then I knew no concept of such things. She would get almost naked and ask me to do whatever with her. I felt very weird. Thing is she was younger than me.

>>141639
What did she ask you to do?

I knew a girl in school that was pretty odd.

she believed she was descendant of the queen of england, obsessed with victorian culture, but her room was also full of bionicles and would go on about bionicle lore for hours, id just zone out.

my mother said her stepdad was a creep, so i was forbidden from hanging out with her at her house . it was for the best though cause i didnt like hanging out with her, and there was something off about her mentally, especially the stuff about being royalty. poor girl.

I haven't had a genuine friendship/connection to a female since early childhood, and that's fucked with my sense of worth a lot.
I was a very handsome kid. As such, I was popular with girls. I had my first "girlfriend" when I was in pre-school. (Not bragging, just setting the stage )
My two female cousins, who were also my best friends at the time, loved me. Like, sexually. It wasn't until years after they stopped hanging out with me that my mom told me the two were regularly molested by their step dad, and the older one was diddling other girls at her school around the same time she was sinking her fangs into me.
She'd beat the shit out of her younger sister whenever she made moves on me. I remember, she'd often pin her down and "stinkhold" her, which clearly did some things to my impressionable brain. I remember asking her to "do it to me too", which I recall weirded her out, but she obliged anyway .
She'd encourage me to beat her sister up too, which I did, because I was a stupid little shit who thought it was funny. She never hated me for it though- she still wanted to be with me, which I thought was really strange.
As they got older, they stopped clinging to me as much. Maybe they'd matured, or maybe it's because I had become obese. Yep, that's right. In exchange for the first 10 years of my life, when I was desired by every girl in school and my own female family members, I had been cursed with an addictive personality, which led to me becoming totally obsessed with shit foods. That, along with horrible metabolism for a kid my age.
By this point, only one girl loved me in school. Someone who I had neglected severely, due to the influence of a bad friend, and my own immaturity. She was the nerdiest girl I'd ever known, and way too mature for her age. I couldn't keep up with her.
I knew how emotional she was too, which of course, being a fucked up brat, I used as a weapon against her. One time I lied and said I was moving away, just to see how sad she'd get. I'm not paraphrasing when I tell you, she said to me- with eyes full of tears, "if I can't see you anymore, there's no point in living; I'm gonna kill myself tonight when my mom leaves". I can't remember if I felt bad or not, but either way, I didn't retract my lies. And eventually I did move away, so there's that!
I think the weirdest thing about her was how nerdy she was for a girl. Like, she was a complete otaku. Video games, dark anime. I had known the types of girls who "drew anime" but never watched it, but she was the real deal. A full-blown nerdosaur. I wished I had appreciated what I had back then, but sadly at the time, I thought anime was *mic drop* fer faggots. It's funny, now I'm sure she's moved on from anything nerdy like that, while I'm here rotting away in a moe cesspool, telling depressing stories of my youth, which no one here will even read.
But, to keep the rest of this lighthearted, I'd say the weirdest girls I knew were
-A 3ft tall girl who'd bite my arms during recess
-two polish girls in my neighborhood who'd throw rocks at my window, wanting me to go on their trampoline every day and watch chickflicks with them
-a blonde chick with a speech impediment who was absolutely OBSESSED with south park, who I'd go on walks with back when I'd first started embracing otakudom.
My friendship with her ended when I made fun of her for liking some video game I thought was gay. The funny thing was she ended the friendship in the most dramatic way a kid possibly could in a school cafeteria; by dumping her full plate of food on my head, and spraying her carton of milk in my face

>>141899
Stepdad was ravaging the ENORMOUS COCK no doubt

you are a fag nau
congratulations!

TRIPCODES ARE FOR FAGGOTS

wait, who put this weird name on my post?

>>141987
taek this fag!!

i wantz one two

>>141996
fag

(i will try to draw every interaction when i have time)

>>141736
"I want to know what's troubling you", I reply. "You seem like you had a bad day." (´～`)

>>141738
"troubling? dont make me laugh, i'm having a great day because i have found the best way to ruin heyuri! muhahaha!"
her evil laugh sounds different than usual, more forced.
She looks at you after laughing, perhaps to gauge your reaction and immediately averts her eyes as she sees you still sitting beside her, your gaze still focused on her

"just run away to your goddess heyuri-tan, you idiot..." are the words you can barely make out. As you observe her you notice a faint blush in her cheeks, looking away from you like a kid hiding his face to avoid bad things. This situation and your seemingly genuine concern are making her uncomfortable and fidgety...

>>141942
"Heyuri-tan? She's somewhere else having fun with all our other friends. Nevermind her for right now. I want to know what's up with you", I press further the topic, hoping I am not coming off as too prying or intrusive. (´人｀)

>>141958
"YOU want to know what's up?!" she jumps to her feet, looking at you with anger
"do you feel pleased with yourself?! helping a poor and defenseless girl!? why did you not care before i started my evil path!? where were you when I-" she interrupts herself, the look of realization in her face is a familiar one to you: she realized she said too much.
She quickly shakes her head and keeps looking at you with a face full of rage, unsure of what to say.
Even if her trembling body and watery eyes were a good indicator, soon after you received the confirmation, muffled sobs came out of her mouth and lines of tears wet her cheeks.
she closed her eyes, angry that she couldnt hold it all in... suddenly a scream :"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!".
She quickly runs away, doing her best to hide her weakness from other heyurizen passing by

weakness. A strange word to associate with iruyeh-tan you think, she who was always so strong and unwavering even when standing before the ban hammers

she seems to be headed to the park

I appreciate it, lady, but I don't want to take care of your bastard son.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Is her arm broken?

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

poo poo nigra... (;´Д`)

we need more cnuy like this in heyureh ( ´ω`)

what tags do i use on pixiv to find more pictures of girls in bikinis sitting on PENISes?

>>141864
They rarely tag properly. Better Gelbooru it.

>>141864
https://gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=loli+micro_bikini+sitting_on_person+

>>141875
>>141960
"intercrural sex" ended up being the tag i was looking for

heyuriOS

>>141938
u also fired.
it needs to be green with stars.

>>141938
I'd use heyuriOS as long as it's 32 bit

>>141935
WAH!! what the FUCK pez-sama???????????? how am i going to feed my family with my neetbux now.....

ZOMFG lines

yes. that technology hasn't been invented yet but top computer scientists are working around the clock on it.

thank goodness

I don't liek traveling. Real world isn't that interesting ( ´ω`)

Does it have to be 15? There's not that many places I'd want to visit. (´～`)
Well, if I must...

1. Brazil
2. Canada
3. Bosnia and Herzegovina
4. Georgia
5. Indonesia
6. Peru
7. Vietnam
8. Russia (North Caucasus, Kamchatka or Moscow)
9. Britain
10. Algeria
11. Syria
12. Poland
13. Serbia
14. Egypt
15. France

1.Hindustan
2.Mesopotamia
3.Turkestan
4.Ladyboyland
5.Índonesia
6.China
7.Libya
8.Japan
9.Morrocco
10.Iran
11.Malaysia
12.Egypt
13.Turkiye
14.Kurdistan
15.Balochistan
Also WTF is that random fake country in the bottom right, has the Cartographer never looked at a real map before

>>141928
its legend that you did not label

black pantsu

LOL HEYURI

black pantsu lol

Pantsu

Waii~ Cute!