Throughout history, children have been able to psychically communicate with eachother across long distances through EM waves emmitted by head lice. The lice attach directly to the childs skull to recieve neural impulses. This symbiosis is a natural part of childhood and essential to healthy emotional development. Lice removal and hair care services are a government project set up to protect the adult conspiracy from the revolutionary threat posed to it by children bearing these special powers. Make sure to keep your children away from hairdressers and take them to local nit-sharing parties at least once a year!