fapped in the living room

It is a mystery

When I was 12 I shit in the bathtub while sitting so I could feel it squish through my buttcrack and under my balls, and also sprayed piss all over myself. I had a super hard erection but didn't cum because I wasn't skilled enough at fapping yet to know you need to rub the PENIS fast to get the cream to come out. Later after I figured out how to fap properly I stopped shitting myself for fun because it's too much cleanup to be worth it. I still spray piss all over myself on occasion while fapping though.

showed my bumbum to some guy over the interwebs

I trolled someone on the internet upon going to sleep, and when I woke up I fapped to their angry messages

I noticed my pants had a hole in the pocket when I was walking home from school, so I put my dick through the hole into my pocket and played with it while walking behind girls

Sucked myself off

>>154398
You should post it here heh.

I jerked off to my classmate in second grade….

>>154396
Fucking disgusting. Die.

I ate a girl's hair in my 8th grade social studies class. Well, I saw a loose hair about to fall out, so when no one was looking, I plucked it, put it in my pocket, and then waited 2 hours before school ended + an hour and a half bus ride home before I took the hair to my bedroom, and put it in my foreskin. As time went on, more and more precum got fused with the hair and turned it into a dense hair ball. It felt so good inside, that I stuck it in my urethra, and cummed it out. Then I picked it up off the floor, and chewed it for a few hours. Eventually my dad yelled at me to go clean something so I swallowed it.

Used my brother's tenga egg ;_;

i'd tell you if it wasn't a felony

I lost my virginity to a goat. I was working at a bird sanctuary and they had some goats and sheep there. I was left to close up one day and I thought i'd stay around because the weather was awesome and it was so peaceful. I got horny and decided to act on all the animal porn i'd watched and found so fucking hot. I tied one of the goats up in one of the hay barns and fucked it bareback in the ass. It was fucking amazing and I was shit scared in case I got caught.

That was like 6 years ago and since then I've fucked about 8 girls and 2 guys and nothing was as good as that goat. I'm planning on doing something similar again soon and on a regular basis.

>I got horny
Quite literally (;ﾟ∇ﾟ)

>>154448
Goat fucker-san spotted in the wild?!

I... thought it was just a joke... I didn't think it was real... (;ﾟ∇ﾟ)

>>154448
are you brazilian per chance?

Jacked off while licking my phone screen to a video of someone else jacking off

ate a virgin boy eggs in china and hated the taste of it

>>154454
Not him but as far as I'm aware, goat fuckers have existed everywhere men and goats coexist ヽ(´π｀)ノ

Stuck a drum stick up my ass. I cleaned it afterwards and still use it for playing drums

>>154459

I'd like to put a virgin boy's golden eggs in my mouth （⌒∇⌒ゞ）

>>154460
ive just heard a lot of stories of ppl losing their virginities to animals in brazil. mostly donkeys and goats.

>>154391
jerked off while spying on my sister in the shower probably

has anyone itt fucked a monkey before?

Your fortune: You have aids

>>154468
i remember that monkey, how does it have that much sex and there not be a monkeyhuman hybrid?? there might be a missing link out there and we dont know tihnk about it

>>154468
fortune checks out

>>154468
Monkeys are always ready to party, man

i masturbated to trains while i had tied myself up and was thinking of the trains as children...
i came hard though so i guess its okay

>>154476
what teh actual fuck

Watched a scene of an Arabian sultan with three young ladies in some kind of luxurious bath. I was inspired and laid in a full bathtub and jacked off to a scene on my laptop which was carefully balanced on the toilet so I could self-insert. It didn't work because I had to strain to see my laptop and I couldn't stay hard under the water

>I couldn't stay hard under the water
I used to fap in the bath all the time when I was a teen

>>154396
Reminds me of myself
When i was 12 i took a shit into a bowl and pissed in it. I smelled it and it instantly killed all of my horniness.
I could also mention fapping during online classes a few years ago to girls that had webcams turned on.

>>154482
When I was 13 and alone in the house since my family was on vacation, instead of smearing peanut butter on my dick so the dog would be enticed to suck it (like most youngsters my age did), I instead got the urge to hold in my poop for two days, and take a huge shit on the counter. I thought it would be satisfying for some reason, but it wasn't. It just smeared all over the place, and got wedged back inside of me, only now it was covered with bits of ritz crumbs and sugar from when someone made coffee.

One time I jerked off in a public toilet at a crowded event because a girl was throwing up in the cubicle next to mine.

Was on a long multi day trek in the woods once. Eventually it occurred to me that I hadn't seen anyone in ages and I was taking a bit of a detour anyway. So I decided to have a wank out in the open. It was kinda hard to finish though, trees look nice, but they aren't sexy.

licking and smelling my friends girlfriend panties while fapping.

While my sister was sleeping, I smelled and kissed her feet and jacked off. I came on her shoes, and licked them clean. She didn't suspect a thing

>>154609
what was it like? Not the shoe part but the first part. how didnt you wake her up?(´～`) you're lying aren't you... post pics

one time... i went into a gym shower after hours and stood where naked people stood!

when i was young i would take pictures of myself and use them to fap. it was not because i had no internet i just did it because i thought i looked good

actually "when i was young" is misleading because i still do this

I stole a little girl's bikini and jerked off with it. Then I returned it.

>>154610
No pics, I'm afraid you'll have to take my word for it ;). Anyways, I was super careful. My kisses were sparse and light, I didn't do anything reckless.

Fuck, remembering it made me horny...(´￢`)

i wish someone liked me enough to lick my feets while i sleep.

>>154625
what would you have done if she woke up?

plot twist: she was awake and remembers everything and will blackmail you with it later

>>154628
Post feet pics and maybe I'll lick my screen. No promises though. (´￢`)

I don't have a story of my own. I think the most "perverted" thing I've ever done was peeing on the floor of the first apartment I rented as my own just to feel that freedom of being able to do whatever I wanted.

>>154630
I don't know. I don't remember if I had a backup plan. Lie my way out of it, maybe?

>plot twist: she was awake and remembers everything and will blackmail you with it later
Who knows, maybe it'll turn into one of those femdom stories...(´￢`)

>peeing on the floor of the first apartment I rented as my own just to feel that freedom of being able to do whatever I wanted.

LOL I did that exact same thing when I got my first apartment

I've never owned an apartment, but when I was a kid I used to read a particular video game forum frequently, where one of the prominent posters would regularly make off-topic threads for people to talk about their lives and whatnot. In many of them, he'd post images and stories where he'd piss on his walls because he didn't want to get up and use the bathroom. Not because he was obese or crippled, but because he was severely lazy and was also fond of the dingy smell of a piss-covered house.
Since I was in the same pissy boat, I emulated him. I already quite enjoyed the scent of my own fermented urine. If you had walked into my room when I was 12, you'd think I was running a clandestine piss-making operation.
Since I was so inspired by that guy's life style, I too, pissed on the walls. Not in my room, since I knew I wouldn't be able to run that past my dad, but my grandma's house was a different story. I spent most of my childhood there, since I hated my father. I used my meemaw's PC all day, and pissed all over her walls because she was too dementia ridden and half-dead to care.
Whenever anyone at my house would catch on to my piss hoarding, I would quickly dump all of the piss out my window before they could bust me. Good times.
Anyhow, now I'm 32 and I shockingly never ended up developing a piss fetish. I don't even like the smell anymore; fermented or fresh. I do occasionally like it when other people piss in toilets, though. I like it when the water gets all orange-tinted and bubbly from a big stored-up piss. In HS I used to stick my hand in one of the unflushed shitbowls and jerk off with it during lunch time.

>>154616
I used to be a delivery driver, and whenever I was sent to shitty rundown apartment complexes, there'd always be at least one trashy family who left a pair of their little girl's underwear in front of their door, next to the 15-kid spanish family cliche'd barbie doll's with their hair lopped off and fly-swarmed fetid garbage bags in the sweltering heat.
This was before impoverished spics could afford security cameras so of course whenever I made my way up the stairs, I always pocketed the panties I spotted and jerked off in them. Never returned them, though. I just threw em out when the little girl asshole and pussy smell was replaced by my own cock stench

>>154707
i just masturbate wherever and whenever i want in my apartment like a normal person

jerked off in class one time in middle school. shot a blank. dont know why actually. I got in trouble before i did this for something else so they had me sit hidden away almost in a corner

the worst i've ever done was jerk off in a public restroom stall back in high school. i even did it regularly for a while, i would "need to use the restroom" to take a piss... and then beat off for 10 minutes. i got better at cumming quicker so no one would suspect (even though they probably did anyway) but eventually i couldn't keep up masturbating intensely enough in a short time period so i had to stop. that, and also the fact bathrooms fucking reek turned me off from it.

>>154859
a restaurant at the mall i work around has a stall with an actual door so it's like a separate room so i go there to jerk off pretty regularly while working

jerked off while watching my friend play video games i had a blanket over me so i don't think he noticed

Took a whiff of the tampon disposal bin in the disabled toilets when I was in high school

This thread reminded me of a story I once read on 4chan from someone who was helping find survivors after an earthquake and found the mangled corpse of a boy under the rubble, with its ass sticking out. If he looked at it just from the right angle, you couldn't tell it was a corpse. He got really horny and fucked it.

After my high school entrance exam, I fapped to my neighbor and classmate in the bath. When I got dressed up and went downstairs, my English teacher was crying because that classmate died in a car accident