you shouldn't fuck potato

I came back from UK! I bought a Usahana plush toy at BABW and she speaks... with Putata's voice

(credits to pryanik)

I love this guys boss theme.

I've always wondered, what time zone is Heyuri in? It never matches up to mine when I post (EST).
Is there some setting so I can make it my timezone?

brain fuck!

im hungryyyyghh

for halloween I'll dress up as necrofag! ヽ(´∇`)ノ

Has anyone palyed Kamidori alchemy meister? I am tryin to install it but I get un error

Oh ma gawd!

Monero in 2025 by a NEWB for NEWBZ!

Using Retoswap (Also known as Haveno) - you do not need anything else.
It might look like a lot, but it feels natural once you install it and check it out.
If you do not care enough to use it - just read the bold text for a general idea and what to watch out for.

Retoswap/Haveno is a fork of Bisq. If you are familiar with Bisq - you also know how Retoswap will work.

HARD presents, Heyuri-style backlinks on 2chan!

Add to your userscripts and try out: https://up.heyuri.net/src/4887.js

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

Introducing chiyo stapler!!!1!11!!

now you can staple shit while looking at chiyo's crying face! ヽ(´∇`)ノ

buy now for $0.00 at your nearest heyuri

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

You say when I go back you will suck me off and you want me to lick your cunt, you little depraved blackguard. I hope you will surprise me some time when I am asleep dressed, steal over to me with a whore’s glow in your slumberous eyes, gently undo button after button in the fly of my trousers and gently take out your lover’s fat mickey, lap it up in your moist mouth and suck away at it till it gets fatter and stiffer and comes off in your mouth. Sometimes too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling’s cunt. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep. Then I will lick up faster and faster like a ravenous dog until your cunt is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly.

Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little fuckbird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier.

wait, is 40% of my dick length hidden inside my body?UNFAIR!N

36,500 americans in the Korean war so that k-pop could exist. Rember that everytime you are enjoying your precious BTS

even lolis are stronger than u.

DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST A RAT IN A CAGE

Your fortune: Your true waifu will reveal herself

mewwy kissmast or... something.

tomorrow i will reveal teh most epic thing ever.

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

My wife left me ヽ(´∇`)ノ

In the thread where I played pokemon red someone brought up the idea of making a pokemon game. This thread is simply to discuss that idea. Personally I think all double battles is a good idea.

So, Sanae Kochiya Takaichi just got elected president of LDP and will prolly be teh first girl PM of Nippon. What's your take on this? Is this a good thing or nah? She's rather conservative and hard on migration, so that means less in Nippon, but she also wants to ban yuri and yaoi, so...

When Yuno poses like this .. I want to sniff her butthole.

i cut my life into pieces, this is my last escape~

Top Russian general had sex with a MALE dressed up as a FEMALE (;´Д`)

The news is massively talking about this

l€tᛋᛋ all write in maoi$$t SStandard engliSSh!

https://maosite.neocities.org/

are cloudgaming g00d today?

How teh fuck was I supposed to know!?!?!? ヽ(`Д´)ノ

goodnight heyuri ( ´ω`)

by "us", i mean the lolicons, the fujos, the queers, the schizos and autistics and faggots. we're constantly told to go to therapy so we can become acceptable to society. it's society itself that is unnaceptable! the straight white guys running it are crazy, but their craziness is everywhere so nobody points out how strange it is. never feel ashamed of what you are, heyuri, even if it hurts.

NOOOOOO I WAN NA STAYYYYYY

I thought it was a joke

CHICKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

open this video
press screenshot buttan
find out your lucky color of today☆

mmmmmm.... i think i see a muscle girl in the distance.... (´￢`)

today we will be miserable

Post photos and videos that cannot be explained by science.

Junku is bad ass

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HhO1raSVfBA
THE POWER OF HEYURI FLOWS IN MY VEINS YOU MR.FAGGOT WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF DA LULZ WARRIOR. YOUR BIG SISTER BETTER PREPARE HER ANUS RAR.

Heyuri Plays pokemon Red.

One down 5 to go.

Is math for niggers?

Here's the next guy checking the Cascade Badge.

Ohayo, howz everynyans day

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

gordon slenderman...

everynyan, roll a 15d6 ITT and we see who can get the highest sum!

how to roll: Put "dice15d6=" in the comment field
moar info: >>157648

P.S you can also tell if someone's a CHEATER if the red text doesn't show "This is a dice roll" when hovering over it

Mutual assistance thread?

Im a raver!

I love stimulants! O H Y E A H

test

hi first time here!!! also you all are so fucking old!!!!! hahahaha!!!!

el chupacabra!!

Life

I have kidnapped Heyuri-tan
If this thread doesn't reach at least 20 replies i will kill her

flat chests will save the world

My 12 year old son came to me (dad) really embarrassed yesterday and said he wet the bed. I said okay and that we could strip the bed and put it in the washing machine. It didn’t look like a pee spot to me though so I asked “you sure you peed?”

He starts crying a little bit and says “no this white stuff came out.” Oh boy. We’ve had a version of “the talk” but I kept it high level and did not cover wet dreams. I asked him if he knew what it was and he said “the stuff to make babies with I guess. I forget the word.” I said yeah but went into detail more about wet dreams and things with proper terminology.

He says “I just want it to stop. It’s like hard all the time and I can’t get it to go away and it’s so annoying and now I’m making this mess which is gross and I just want it all to stop I hate it.” He’s still partially crying.

I say “have you ever heard of [the m word]?” He says “I don’t know. Like kinda.” I say “well some people find touching or rubbing themselves down there feels really good and it can help relieve some tension and may make wet dreams less frequent since the stuff comes out another way. But everyone is different. It’s normal and safe in moderation. But it is a private activity. You should keep it to yourself.”

He said “I like kinda did that but nothing came out. Maybe I can try again.” I just said that was a private decision and up to him. I’ve never cringed so hard in my life but I tried to stay calm.

Today he comes to me and says “sorry about yesterday. Thanks for not freaking out on me. I guess I should’ve known all that.” I told him he had nothing to be sorry about and he was fine. He said “can we pretend that like that never happened?” I chuckled and said sure. He gave me a quick hug and ran away.

Forgot to feed my garloids this morning

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

describe this image using one word only ヽ(´ー｀)ノ

IS IT GAY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH AN HERMAPHRODITE?

No face is moe

necrofag is a FAGGOT and ignored my invitation for him to play hang man.

so let's have a game ヽ(´ー｀)ノ

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

is gelbooru running sum kind of crypto miner if you leave your PC unattended? This isn't the first time

While you were wasting your life on the internet, I beat Silksong.

What was your reaction when charlie kirk was kill?

DESTROY!!!

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

Make computahs look liek this again!

But with more memorie and better screeen

Could anyone tell where I can buy a girlfriend?

And now after crushing Brocks gym trainer we're now about to challenge the leader himself.

Watch the used office computer market this month

Win10 EOL is here and a lot of corporate offices are just shucking all of their old computers if Microsoft tells them they are incompatible

Literally pallets upon pallets of optiplexes and thinkcentres will enter the used market soon

Cheap work computers, homelabs, the uses are many!

It's my birthday today. Leave your presents below

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

How should we expand KAGUYAS GLORIUS SULTANATE

when i first found the website, i immediately fell in love with some of the features that other imageboards didnt have and the general userbase

truly the place to be

Another month, another look at the vomit cup
Hello /b/, and welcome, to another edition of the IVU! Now, last time I had expressed interest in adding another one of my sister's bodily fluids to the brew. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do that. We'll have to wait and see if that pan's out some other time. But, the vomit on its own is mutating. There are tons of fragmented chunks that look like they're getting... bigger.
As some of you may have guessed, before I snap a picture of the cup, I always place it over my nose and masturbate. Today I lasted about a minute, but immediately after I set the cup down, I got pretty woozy, and my throat got extremely sore. It's been about 30 minutes since I put the cup back, and I'm still feeling the soreness.
Maybe it's just fall allergies
Until next time, /b/. バハハイ～

I can't find the stream

https://yutura.net/news/archives/136846

GLORY, GLORY MAN. UNITED!

64 BIT

Fellas... I...

I...
I-i...

I LOVE RETARDS!

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

What f*cking freak at Ubuntu thought it was a good idea to make middle mouse button an paste shortcut?

I dont like that at all... i use middle mouse button all the time for auto scroll!

I got stood up by a girl... again

it's raping time (・∀・)

Ran is so adorable that I have an urge to slap her directly in her face! Foxes are so adorable

I CANT WAIT FOR HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its my favorite holiday
wat will you be doing?? ヽ(´∇`)ノ

tranqfent or krokodil whats worse

An immediate procurement order for 300 severed pig and horse heads has been sent from Heyuri's headquarters

We are still trying to figure out why

lanza needed an ar-15 and had to go after little kids in order to even come close to his score. he did this with 2 pistols too didnt even need a fancy ass ar or shotgun.

Guise... Halloween is next month

i wish i could be loved, but alas i was born as a short, ugly, balding filipino instead of a tall and handsome japanese schoolboy （ ´,_ゝ`）

It's early in this game (only basic mechanics implemented) but I need epic muzak.
This will be HEYURI themed. Featuring Iruyeh-tan as the antagonist.
Everything is random right now, but I will insert sprites next, and hand-craft 5 stages with some story dialogue. Maybe an endless mode?

But the music needs to be epic if we want an epic heyuri saga of gaems to be spawned here, so I need your help.

Give me your muscic!!2

I FUCKING HATE CANADIAN SCHOOLS! THEY GROOM KIDS INTO BEING GAY AND THEY BANNED 4CHAN!!! I HAVE TO USE THIS RETARDED SITE INSTEAD OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS

sometimes u just gotta milk teh cow

Heyuri, what's your favourite movie?

ive had my phone for like fourish years (for reference it was bought for me, i didnt get it myself) its liek an iphone 12 and it will barely charge anymore, it went from 21 percent to 14 ON THE CHARGER, its so slow, and it overheats so bad. i hate apple so much. one of these days my phone is going to explode

What are you doing today/tonight Heyurizens?

Me? I'm masturbating! And drinking plenty of water

Do heyurizens play visual novels?

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

saya ftw

images themselves: https://up.heyuri.net/src/4858.zip

Hardcore. Henry Darger was a visionary.

What JRPG(s) do you like? Could someone recommend me one perhaps.

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

When the AI Web-Crawler of Everything on The Internet drops in 2032, how will you hide the fact that you were an ozomashii lolikon on Heyuri when you want to go sign up for a job?

It's because you look at it and say "hey, yuri!" and you get down to fapping to yuri pictures. That's the right way to go about it.

Let's share some good yuri pictures here and get fapping, 100%. Get straight to it.

How do you cope with the fact that you were born too late to experience the true old internet and only have scraps and an internet archive to show you how things were back then?

Is there any good way to hide stuff on your computer/phone. i still live with my parents and theyre mad at me so they’re soon about to look through my stuff i think im scared deleting stuff isnt enuff

Look at my muscles. And oh yeah this FM-Towns PC.

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

i was about to make a post, but then i didnt because i want to make heyuri a worse place with less posts! ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ

2 mins in, I LOL'D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj1SbeoepQQ

delicious, delicious bread

I can't look at this picture without crying.

What was going through the Fuhrers mind at this moment?

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

My wife left me ヽ(´ー｀)ノ

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

here's the breasts you ordered, sir

I am bored. Give me something to occupy myself with or I might have to resort to getting a job to fill up my time

fucking stupid game i wanted to fight eirin but accidentally chose finalb

does heyuri like cabbages? can you give me good cabbage or lettuce recipes? dont. give me good stuff to make with lemon cuz i never actually buy cabbage ヽ(´∇`)ノ

i Need to become employed Shall i

Superdeadbeat Dad...

My girlfriend drew art of me and her
(Im the one holding the gun)

One day, while surfing the world wide web, I ended up finding this cool song from on old amstrad game www.cpc-power.com/index.php?page=detail&onglet=zicym&num=437
The website provides the file of the song... However, I was never able to find a program to play .ym files on my computer, so the only way to listen to this song is through this website.

Lots of people complain about immigrants coming to their country because they have higher propensities to criminality, low IQs, disagreeable religions, etc. But let's be honest. How much of it is just that they're ugly? If there were a race flooding in with the same demographic statistics as any Syrians or Hondurans or Congolese, but they looked like the above, you wouldn't care nearly as much, would you? I wouldn't.

Argentina, 2015. 27 year old man was killed by his lover, a 38 year old married woman. They had an affair and the younger man eventually had threatened to reveal their illicit relationship to her husband, if she would refuse to “loan” him big sums of money. The 38 year old woman owned a high profit jewelry store.

To safeguard her money and family life she instead decided to kill her lover during sex “game”. By suggesting they try something kinky new. A strangling game in the midst of intercourse. And then instead of stopping strangling him after he had passed out, on purpose continued to strangle her passed out lover with all the strength she had, using a leather belt. Doing it for a few minutes, to make sure he was really dead.

Her husband was away from the house during this time on a business trip in another country.

After strangling him she had first tried to stuck him in the large suitcase. So to take his corpse out of the house in a very discreet way. And taking it to large municipal garbage site so to dump it there amongst the piles of garbage bags. But his head would not go all the way inside the suitcase. So she then rolled the suitcase with his body inside it into her bathroom and decided to saw/cut his head off in there.

Getting a folding saw, a large serrated bread knife, gas mask with goggles, thick commercial rubber gloves, black plastic sheeting and a few large bottles of commercial corrosive chemicals (all those belonging to her husband because of his line of work). To try and see if perhaps she could dissolve some parts of his body in the bathtub and thus reducing the weight of the suitcase, for when she would have to lift it up so to place it in her jeep’s trunk.

And then went to the garage to get her car ready and to get a few other things she thought she could use for her intended plan.

But before she could start her sister had showed up unannounced. She had keys to the house and after no one had answered the door (her sister being in the garage at that time), had entered the house. And after going through the house looking for her sister, had decided to check the bathroom (since she saw a light there, behind a closed door).

And after knocking a few times and getting no reply, had opened the door. Discovering to her horror a naked below the waist strangled young man in the suitcase, with his stuck out head pressed hard against a toilet seat and all that body disposal paraphilia next to him. And immediately calling the police.

There was a thread a few weeks ago about "What would your family do if they found out you browse Heyuri" - and it had alot of interesting replies. It relates to this discussion about digital footprints - the permanent record you leave of all of your activities online

But that thread seemed to be mostly jokes. I still am left wondering how the people browsing sites like this actually plan to reckon with the fact it may well come to light one day.

Now posting on a forum like this, if thats all you do, doesn't really leave a deep print in the mud. But some people went a little farther than that (Say, uploading pictures of yourself in underwear to this board...) - we have more to reckon with. The average kid of today has left a deep print, most kids don't understand why they shouldn't slap their name and face on everything they do online - neither did I.

Now if someone, an employer, a snoopy coworker, or my grandparents, were to do a little bit of digging, I'd be ridiculed for being an absolute clown on the internet as a kid - doing what kids do, seeking attention

Sigh - it's all just so complicated, can anyone here relate? And what is your advice?

another evening of high cortisol and no sleep.

GENSOKYO FIRST

“regular people don’t know what benefits them.” -OPs girlfriend

Who de hell is OP’s girlfriend

her name is now OPs Girlfriend

Why is she so mad?

wtf

I enjoy ear scratching by cute 2d

While I was rewatching I got overwhelmed by cute Akira failing to scratch off a sign

I share for everyone to enjoy it

post an image of your waifu/character-you-like/whatever ITT and at the end i'll make a collage using the contributions ヽ(´ー｀)ノ

cut-off time is the 24th of September at 15:00 UTC (2025/09/23 15:00)

2025/09/24 15:00*

The japanese are masters of innovation!

K.O

Help me orgasm!

I am seratonin/dopamine deprived!

here's ur tea~

Do you like your waifu so much you fantasize about becoming her? I'm not there yet but I know one of my friends is close to that point

this is what was REALLY behind sakamoto-san's eye-patch

Heyuri, how can I score a cute fujo gf who will force me into maid outfits?

teh feline caturpede!!! (ﾟｰﾟ)

I'm posting someone's Japanese cats.

英語ムズい

BLARG I AM CRAB-HITLAR.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO FUCK STUFFED TOYS

What are your thoughts on the new Sonic gaem?

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

Do you thinks cats would like eating baked rats? Has anyone actually tried feeding one?

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

Hi! Today mushroom picking with dad

Target: parasol mushroom (Macrolepiota procera) known here as "kania"

They are really big. You can tell them apart from deadly mushroom that imitates it by the little ring they have beneath their top! If you see such mushroom without the ring - it is probably poisonous!

They go bad fast, they last 2 days in the frige. They are also very fragile underneath their caps and you need to handle them carefully unless you want to eat a deformed abomination. They go bad unless you freeze them which I never tried but it does not seem apetizing for mushroom this fragile and watery, or you dry them which is the best idea. You can grind a dried mushroom and keep it that way. I like it a lot.

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!1

saya ate my cat

Miu rules neko-san

Ich liebe lolipupsgas. Du liebst lolipupsgas? Alle Heyuriner lieben lolipupsgas, ja?

did he really do it on purpose?

LOL CYBERRAEP

pantsu theft is Japanese Cultural Excellence, too

Do you think people would murder you if they found out you posted on a site like this?

HHAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I'M GATHERING THE ENERGY TO GO TAKE A SHOWER!!!
GIVE ME YOUR ENERGY!!

Hello heyuri, mb someonw knows what happened with
lolicore net site
Why it's down, like nashi?

v

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

Oppai grab! ヽ(´∇`)ノ

I SEE YOU FAPPING

have you gotten your daily spemwaxx?

How many tabs do you usually haev open?

Go to
http://shystudios.us/files/random_imgur_game.html
and post wins

you gonna put a fake fruit fly on my screen, I'm gonna put nigra tits on ur board!! ヽ(`Д´)ノ

ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!!

+ https://sys.heyuri.net/ +

:3

teh coolest plant

behold one of teh 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, Conquest!

I slept for 17 hours. I am getting closer to being able to sleep 24/7!

Do any heyurizens like sumo, i only started watching with the last tournament but so far my favorites are aonishiki and ura, i also like shishi but ive been dissapointed in his style of sumo recently

yep

invite ur family, friends, neko, PENIS, comput0r, and yourself to tomorrow's cytube!!!!1!1one

or risk.... SPONTANEOUS DEATH