Hello,

I just wanted to post here because it's the birthday of someone I think very dearly of. September 15, 1993 is the birthday of Japanese-Taiwanese artist Cheng Gaoxin, who goes by the English pen name of Sean Mao (pictured), and also by the username AVCHonline.

He has an art style and vision like no other. As someone who had never been previously invigorated by art (I mean I, presumably like most people, have enjoyed art, but I had never felt truly touched by art in a significant and lasting way), he has truly changed my perspective on art. What really is significant to me about his art is that it captures this unique ability to capture what should be impossible to even, like seeing into a dream that you forgot immediately as you wake up.

One thing I've thought about extensively is art being a form of 'pure art'. Dispensing all the 'real' elements of a story leaving behind just a pure form of beauty. Really what separates a dream from reality is that reality operates on strict causality and logic, whereas dreams are not bounded by such restrictions. When experience his art, I've had the feeling of a whole world being implicitly contained within it. Not in the sense of "worldbuilding", which is itself just defining a rigid structure and set of rules, but the feeling of entering a whole new existence. Furthermore, this is not in the sense of making up this world yourself, but only being able to see it through his art. It's something you've always wanted to see, something you could see the shadow of, but only were able to see through the medium of Sean's art.

His captures this form of absolute innocence, wherein there is no conflict or plot whatsoever. This goes beyond just being "moe", because it dispenses with the inherent conflict that exists in imposing causal logic. Just like in a dream, everything exists spatially all at once. His world is truly the platonic ideal of sweetness. Something so beautiful that encountering it feels like happening upon the holy grail. An object of such magnificence that makes everything in real-life feel stupid and unnecessary. You realize that the only thing that matters is protecting and savoring this precious thing.

Sean himself is a magnificent and incredibly talented man. He's a master of so many different thing. He's an artist, composer, pianist, singer, violinist, and chef, and many others too that I am not aware of. I've never seen someone of such absolute dedication, and at the same time, generosity as Sean. I believe he said before that for commissions that he did for absolutely free, he would spend upwards of 48 hours straight, without sleeping, in absolute concentration on his art. It makes me think of a classic master. Eventually he started charging for commissions, but not even because he wanted any money. He said did it only regrettably, because there were too many commissions. Even then, he charged the absolute minimum that he could. To this day, he still only charges 15 dollars for incredibly detailed artworks that take him multiple days. Since he is also a composer, he only charged a 100 dollars for a full orchestral score.

He wrote in one of his early DeviantArt posts about his early childhood. He didn't say that much, but I know that he had a hard childhood and was suicidal at a very young age. Currently, he works an incredibly demanding job. He said recently that he works as a chef at a restaurant and that he has to work over 15 hours every single day, and said this was the main reason for his decrease in artistic output, along with the composition work has to do as being the other reason. Despite his absolutely masterful talent, he still belittles his older work (see https://www.deviantart.com/comments/4/18306528/5296624616).

On the Chinese forum Tieba, he wrote an essay about his "creative philosophy". Unfortunately, because of a redesign of that website, I am unable to access it anymore. Luckily, I had the forethought to archive every single post he has made on the internet that I could find. Here is a link to a translated version: https://files.catbox.moe/u2wr99.txt I found it very sad how lacking he is in confidence despite his utter artistic genius. Even while working this incredibly demanding job, he still found the time to make this absolutely beautiful animation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpMbjDj6ATc As is typical of Sean, he didn't do it for himself but did it entirely as a tribute to someone else.

I have thought about him nearly every day for over 2.5 years. He is one of my favorite people in the world. Despite never meeting him, I feel an incredibly deep connection to him. I am not usually that much of an emotional person, but I have cried many times thinking about him. I hope one day I am able to really meet him, preferably fully in person. And I also hope he finds success in achieving his dream, whether that producing a full animation or whatever else. I believe his original dream was to become a conductor, but that he changed to wanting to animate an original production.

I intended to finish an essay to give to him for his birthday, but I was unfortunately not able to complete it in time. For that I am very sorry to him, but I will try to get it done soon.