he sent me this in private. damn epic if u ask me! king rabbitfield!

>>168347
OH MY GAH.

i'd imagine it looks like this

>>168347
>>168474
I'll bet both of those are true because I imagine Rabbitfield-kun to not stick to one setup at a time because he jumps from safe house to safe house evading international law enforcement

>>168347
is that gore screaming show? very epic...

I will not show my real things, but I could make a mockup pasokon with lsd paper
My machines are pretty standard besides safety measures

Just kidding, i will not oxidize such a precious and fragile resource
It has been almost 40 days and I have hearing issues in one ear probably from chemical imbalance, vision is warping to an extent but not as badly, temperature issues, occasional fear/depression/derealization + nausea and headaches
Today I think I had sleep paralysis again, I had my bag in the corner of the room and metal elements were shiny in contrast to rather dim colors around them, I truly believed they are eyes of two random cats reflecting light and they were standing in extreme positions and I panicked
When I fully opened my eyes wood looked quite red for a second, then it faded to gold in a second and in another second back to normal and I felt dizzy and nauseous for a few seconds, very odd, but these episodes used to last longer like minutes
Trip never ends, party hard

you can't post fuuko without me!! ヽ(`Д´)ノ

reminds me of a youtube vid about a never ending trip. He claimed it's been 3 months and he's still not comming down.

>>168548
Too bad laws prevented study of psychedelics because I am not sure how to recover properly, all I do is I wait and hope it fades away as brain recallibrates to a new reality
Perma trip is what they call significant and persistent mental damage from it, that is what happens when souls get broken, mental arteries pop until their soul bleeds out as they watch it helplessly

I don't think I damaged myself mentally as much as physically, it is getting better daily, I would not mind such stunt again in the future but the duration is too long for my liking and it requires one full day for the trip and at least one more for regaining energy and recovery
It also requires commitment to be of good hope, have a nice place, have nice things around and requires you to not get bored for a single moment for at least 10 hours straight and I assure that in peak a real life minute feels like at least 10 inside my mind. If you get bored you get sent to a mental jail overthinking your inside, like a black hole - you will not escape when you pass event horizon, so change course while you can
I was looking at a song cover moving and I believed I was watching a full movie, I did not know or care what it is about but it felt like 2 hours of a real movie, and I noticed I was wrong only when the song had ended and cover changed, the song was like 4 minutes long. I was genuinely shocked and I did not understand what had happened for quite some time.

>>168561
>Perma trip is what they call significant and persistent mental damage from it,
some call it HPPD, I call it opening your third eye.

As far as physical side-effects go, not much you can really do besides lower inflammation and promote neurogenesis. For anti-oxidants I like liposomal vitamin C and S-Acetyl-L-Glutathione. For the brain: lion's mane and 4,-DMA-7,8-DHF. also 7,8-DHF for shorter duration.

According to an old hypothesis of adrenochrome being a proponent in psychosis, niacin can rapidly metabolize the adrenaline byproducts as they are methyl donors. It was thought that LSD increased production of adrenochrome (which is why they used it as a model for psychosis), and that a large application of vitamin C would bring patients back to a baseline. I never got to try it, but I was always curious if either niacin or vitamin C would abort a trip.

>>168565
Have you had it?

>>168567
Oh yes very much. Although it has been 3 or so years since I've last tripped so things have normalized to some degree, but it is simply one of those things that will never leave you. For better or worse, once your mind is open it cannot be fully closed. Such is the lot of the shaman class. With people that can't handle it, they can always go to jebus or something.

Also, you cannot be broken; there isn't a self to be broken in the first place (anatta). It's the conservation of mass, energy cannot be created nor destroyed. What is observed as self is particular rivers or streams of Karma that flow back into the same ocean. Rather than an outright denial of individuality or core essence, I simply find this paradox of selfhood to be a good reminder for non-attachment.

>>168568
I went to the deepest depth and I felt it all. When it started going bad during comedown (for whatever reason) I feel like it was too explicit and I got sucked into that train of thought. I consciously do not fear emptiness and I know it to be correct but while I still am alive in a human form bound by human world then this experience b0rkz humanity, you no longer are a human or even alive. I entirely know emptiness and I wish I never entirely experienced it, too soon. Human life feels correct only if you immerse yourself in human world, otherwise you are out of place and continuation makes no sense as there is no ego to propel intentions and channel them into actions, and emptiness breaks ability to immerse with such a tiny and imaginary thing as human experience. Once you leave the mind and you cannot fully return you feel stuck between worlds belonging to neither, but I wonder how much I got fried chemically and how much we spiritualize it beyond reason.

At first I had a proper and complete ego death and no consciousness, but as consciousness started fading back stuff started feeling odd, long story short derealization/depersonalization and everything accompanied by extreme negative feelings and all mental illnesses imaginable. I suspect my subconscious just got scared or fried.

I simply wish for my ear to go back to normal, mood swings to end, and return to this illusory human life as much as possible (my silent hope is to be able to trip again one day just for sharpening senses, I love music on acid in particular). I am very susceptible to suggestion at the moment so please lie to me that I am alright and how I will heal, it will accelerate it. I will write myself a note with a pen and read it saying that, I will cover everything with such lies. That is the single thing that kept me from boundless insanity during it and I repeated it non stop for over 25 hours. So much so that my subconscious does not trust me at all (because it was still suffering despite me assuring it) until now and it got scared reading your response. I felt the same kind of ultimate fear as on acid, I breathed coldest sharpest air of death. So please help my mind reattach with my body a little and tell me what I wish to hear rather than anything else like reality. I need to distance myself from nirvana.

Placebo is as real as reality for the mind. Therapy is a placebo ultimately, therapist lies to you depending on what you want to achieve, they make up a self fulfilling prophecy, that is what I learned earlier on acid. The only reality that matters is the one I perceive and deem real and not objective world so let's ignore reality. I will manage my life but let's ease it and not send me to panic. Nirvana in it full scope is only appropriate for dead objects which innately posses the quality of nirvana so there is nothing to achieve, but I am not dead yet, I plan to live this life until its natural end because I say so. Managing detachment is beneficial for daily life to move on after losses that are natural for human condition, but full nirvana is not unless you plan to be dead like an hour after it. The memory has been weaved into me but I wish for it to fade and fade, I will recall it when time comes but it is too early now. Satori state is not for humans, full nirvana is not for living things, none of us are ready

If you do not lie to me that I am alright and I will heal I will be sad!!
Please brainwash me, convince me well and I promise not to dig deeper once I buy a lie I want to believe, and I will not attempt to think deeper or check it with all my might

Nirvana was so straightforward and simple, simplest of all concepts, but it crushes ego and there is no drive or will anymore and I can't live a human life without it. I called nirvana death during life years ago but in fact that is exactly it. When spirit is dead body becomes pointless garbage, but body is made of immutable essence and I am my body and I am made a human now, and I make a selfish wish to be a human for the next 50 or so years. I simply wish to be as close to a human again as possible.

Lie to me lie to me

You are alright, you are safe, everyone loves you and you will heal, you are very healthy already and everything is good

(I didnt have a breakdown, it is my regular longpost)

>>168587
>I consciously do not fear emptiness and I know it to be correct but while I still am alive in a human form bound by human world then this experience b0rkz humanity, you no longer are a human or even alive.

For me, the realization of nothingness gave me peace through its singular clarity. I would rather accept a painful truth than a comforting lie. This place is illusion/maya, but that doesn't mean that there aren't great experiences and things to learn here. The goal is to be in the world, but not of the world.

When one is injured, there are two types of pain: The physical pain being felt, and the mental pain. The second kind of pain is a self-inflicted anguish - acceptance of this is Nirvana. The ultimate fear of the ego is the loss of ego - yet it is an important part of interacting with reality. It isn't something to be shucked away by any means, and it would be impossible to do so. Be like that dead Osiris whose remains were scattered across the corners of the earth by Sett, and ascended from his trial in the underworld with even greater strength. Jesus too, when he died for three days and three nights had descended into hell, had taken the keys from Satan himself and rose from the dead. Death is not something to be feared, for it is merely a doorway. It is possible to simultaneously have an ego and yet forsake its attachment. It's a paradox by nature, ineffable and divine. In the occult it's called 'the mysteries'


I won't lie to you, but from experience I know you're not screwed by any means. Your brain and your body have extraordinary healing abilities with a proper will. For a while I thought I would never get better too, but here I am. I recommend grounding techniques during those difficult transitory periods of life in the dark night of the soul. Cold showers and exercise are forms of yoga (yoga simply means 'to be one with the body') that I found particularly effective. It's quite difficult to have any sort of dissociative feelings in that state.

This is an issue I ran into quite frequently as I was too smart for my own good and would spend a great deal of time in my head. The goal is to get into that flow state, or Tao, through whatever means is suitable. Creating art, sojourns through nature, and what have you. Those are the things that life is about. Animals are the best observation of this, they suffer from none of our mental woes, a cat lives as a cat and does what a cat does. You can think, or you can do - you can't do both.

>>168590
Nevermind I had a mental low yesterday

My ears feel better, I see corners sharper (I had rainbow spilling around bright things and light bending), text does not wobble unless I explicitly try really hard to make it move, minor things remain like static noise in vision and other tiny anomalies, also vertigo, nausea and dizziness and mental lows but they are nothing compared to two weeks ago

Time to schedule the next psychosis mind rape, it was surreal beyond human comprehension, no words can explain what was happening and looking back I cannot even fathom any of it, the mental pain and the hells exceed any human scale, it was magical until my brain fried, sorry for taking up your time

I wish I could screenshot what my eyes see and post it (or rather take videos, everything is moving and morphing so a screenshot is a poor representation), or record sounds that I hear

I could edit a song to sound somewhat like what I heard but it would take ages and extreme skill, I would also need the original files and not just a flac. I could hear every detail, I even heard too early cuts in one song for some background instrument notes where the author cut reverb he added to an instrument before it dies down naturally so it aligns with the duration of the base note itself, it felt awkward, a rookie mistake. I listened through all of them and I cannot notice which one it was. Brain overclock does wonders, it was so audible and distinct each time that note played, now after a month I could not locate it.

>>168633
Oh glad you're okay mister Rabbitfield, I know how things can be. "Wow, that was delightfully awful" you say, and then promptly decide to do it again. Just make sure to take it easy!

I always have a difficult time putting into words what trip experiences are like, it's like trying to explain a dream to someone. Which is why I spent a lot of time making music and art, it's a much better medium for that kind of thing. (I'll spare you from experiencing my dreadful work) Maybe that's an avenue worth pursuing.

>>168692
>>168633
Everytime you guys speak it makes me want to take psychedelic drugs.. too bad I don't have money - or rather I'd prefer spending it on cameras.

>>168698
If you live in burgerland, you can always shoplift a couple bottles of delsym from a pharmacy or grocery store.

>>168692
I wish I turn out to be okay, I change my mind I am done with them

>>168698
Not worth it, I changed my mind I will never do any again, worst 40 days of life so far, I hope I am not stuck with these visuals forever as my condition still evolves

Some docs tried treating people with HPPD with clonazepam, I don't wanna do clonazepam as it does not guarantee any change besides possible addiction

>>168720
If anyone dumb enough really will do DXM or similar stuff please check out if it is completely pure, if you drink too much of other chemicals they put into them you will have an organ failure and die or fry your organs permanently

Hey Rabbitfield-kun, Rabbitfield-kun,
show us your rabbit hole!

>>168842
FUCK I AM FED UP WITH THEM! Go take my lovely flashbacks if you want! I wake up every few days to them. They are not even flashbacks, they are the actual experience but a bit retarded and very short like a bit trippy daydream of a few seconds to a minute, they can go on longer if undisturbed. Flashback is a mislabel.

I had wobbly vision until yesterday with minor opaque dots sometimes, today morning I upgraded to static noise vision and now I upgraded to migraine type of vision. When I woke up I was not able to see the texture of my wall like 40cm from my eyes I only saw the general color in static nothing distinguishable, dimm spaces especially were trying to tune to some soviet radio frequency I could not make out anything. It got better as time passed. Makes sense since yesterday I finally could make out straight edges of objects at last, so something clearly was changing and became obvious only when I woke up. I also had a proper severe migraine two days ago. It was the second strongest migraine I have had in my life. The strongest one was during a fucking exam LOL. I felt the migraine halo strong like never before and I barely could read questions or see what I write, so I had to finish it extremely fast. I did not complete it before I disconnected but I passed by one mark

Static noise now seems to have turned to proper migraine like sizzling puddles of color and black/noise. My head hurts just like migraine, I wanna sleep just like on migraine, fatigue of the same sort and I wanna puke, it feels like migraine but very prolonged. I had a very similar thing during acid comedown so I do not panic. I hope it is a sign I finally heal for good. This migraine like symptoms are getting weaker. I might be young but I have had migraine for a couple of years now so I am sure what I describe is accurate.

As a sidenote while I still had static noise vision I felt like sides of the window of my browser were having heart attack moving pixel right pixel left endlessly.

I am done with LSD but never say never. Why do these retards not mention it fries brain this bad if anyone mentions it at all? Its like forgetting to mention that fent may be addictive and even if it is do not worry dear druggie just enjoy I do not fear hell and may acid madness take me to unit 731! But I was not ready for neurological issues. All fags who make articles about LSD seem to have never taken psychedelia seriously or parrot each other. I am a retard to trust anything I read on the internet. I hope somebody puts a milligram of LSD into their nose while they sleep as a revenge, once LSD touches your fluids like mouth or nose there is no going back no matter you spit it out and clean with sandpaper

As for my real migraine issues I might look into triptans. If my current condition does not improve I will try them because my symptoms feel just like a derpy migraine and the receptors that LSD, serotonin, and triptans occupy point to a link between these conditions, I will do science on my body for Heyuri!

>>168847
I had migraine issues for a period of time, the only thing that really worked for me was loading up on salt. I guess it was dehydration, don't know if this would work for other people though. When I feel the aura coming on, it gives me the sense of a electrical imbalance being discharged. It spreads like a wave through my head.

>>168725
...to be honest I just heard that Ayahuasca can treat mental problems once... And I was curious

>>168883
>Ayahuasca can treat mental problems
Sure it can absolutely do that, but the funny thing is it can do the exact opposite and make you crash out. Depends on what kind of person you are though. Particularly with normies it can ruin their life, lolz.

>>168886
ha ha, believing Twitter stories

I don't know how your symptoms started in the first place. Heroic dose? Apparently you can't binge acid like other drugs because your tolerance builds up very quickly.
All drugs should be treated with some respect or at least heavily researched before you try them, psychedelics especially. I was too scared to try every time. You accepted a risk and lost.
I wish you get better soon and return to normalcy.

>>168906
I know from experience because I've done it (oral DMT + harmine/harmaline). When life is built upon false pretenses it can crumble the psyche. Preconceptions are a powerful thing.

>>168928
Even if you wait for the tolerance to fully go away which can take a couple weeks, doing monster doses that frequently is still a lot. Still though, sometimes I wonder if Rabbitfield had some bunk acid, but hopefully he is smart enough to test his stuff before taking it.

>>168968
It was legit. Something inside me failed sooner than I hoped. If my symptoms don't improve soon I am going to a psychiatrist, they seem to improve by a very tiny bit daily or they evolve so I am hesitant yet, my whole body behaves retarded, I was feeling quite good a few days ago and now I suffer a whole lot, permanent migraine-like state
I will beg for lamotrigine since my mood swings like bipolar as well and it helps with migraine and static noise visuals, some antidepressants might help but there is so many of them that the doc will guess them just like me until something works, if they don't then klonopin. Klonopin seems to improve it with recent papers but I don't wanna cure a drug with another drug. Anti convulstans seem to ease visuals. Though honestly I feel very depressed and I am sure the origin is chemical. Two days ago I felt like a deity for two hours and everything mostly receeded, I went to sleep and woke up to static instead of wobbly vision and euforia was gone. My friend who does psychology says I am the most bipolar example of bipolar. I am still of good hope since everything slowly but eventually seems to improve, my vision was worse earlier today.

Evolution of my symptoms feels like coming off LSD. Migraine like visual disturbances and palinopsia are the first things you notice on an LSD comeup. Palinopsia during comeup is probably responsible for that low FPS vision alongside smooth vision, and since they are the first things that appear they might be last things before recovery (or I never recover getting stuck on them ).

I think I forgot to breathe today, I had to take a big sudden breath because I genuinely forgot to breathe in bed or so I think

>>168971
fuck around → find out. at this point it would be better for you to go on some kind of medication. you clearly can't handle yourself.

>>168971
Antidepressants aren't just "guessed" until they work, psychiatry is science, there's a method to the progressive "strengthening " of antidepressants...
It'll begin with Sertraline, the most widely studied & generic antidepressant of them all... And if you're really fucked (which I sincerely hope you're not!) 7 prescriptions & 7 months later you might find yourself on first generation 1950s lobotomizer Monoamine oxidase inhibitors which are essentially only given to people with extreme manic depression now (they'll straight up kill you if you take them alongside ANY other psychiatric medication)

>>168972
>>168980
Heyuri I am sorry, I am a fool

>>168980
>first generation 1950s lobotomizer Monoamine oxidase inhibitors
I think if you get that far god wants you dead

I just got a better mood, I am smiling
Initially I got tinnitus in my left ear making sporadic but steady low cicada/grasshopper noises, as days passed they were getting more continuous and sound like some high frequency sound and now it is getting less and less audible
My right ear began to have grashoppers before I realized my left ear was getting better and I panicked that I am fucked, but it turns out that the silver lining is that it almost certainly will go away
A couple of days ago I feared static because it emanated the same darkness/blindness you get from standing up too fast, dark spaces would be full of static that I could not make out any shape in and everything bright was glittery, like reflections from a river that blind you randomly if you look at them, and also it felt like I am having vision akin to old tape movies from 100 years ago where there were dark spaces between images and I freaked out, now I don't feel that old tape darkness almost at all and static is much less pronounced

Today I was on the verge of passing out the entire day, my spine and ribs hurt like hell, I was very depressed but actually depressed, these weird tickly feelings in my upper body, I felt no power in hands and legs as if I moved bricks for 20 hours straight, I felt cold and nothing could warm me up, my fingers and toes were completely cold
I noticed that each time I get a mental rape episode my condition improves noticably, left ear tinnitus is barely noticable, so sweet because I hated it so much, right ear next in a week or so I hope

I will not do drugs anymore, response to psychedelics is a whole multiple month long inveitable rape, and I am lucky to end up like this considering everything. Not everyone gets it as light as me. Not really worth it since I forgot most of what I saw by now. Things that happen there are not that deep, definitely not worth risking frying a brain forever just to see them, they are only deep because tripper in this state finds everything extremely wonderful. Shapes that you see there is just your brain generating weird mathematical functions and making them pretty with textures also made of smaller functions and so on, if you can draw the most random symmetrical functions and make functions inside them then you do not need to take drugs. Psychedelia seems like some mental medication solely to cause you extreme neurological reactions if you take away their colors. I could feel my trip and the poisoning alongside each other, they take place at the same time but they are totally different. Tripping does not even feel that good, tripping at most gets you to unlock different methods of thinking and overclocks senses, it feels like brain does random things in extreme detail and that is it, extreme detail in input like hearing or smell, extreme output with shapes, colors and delusions. Something to get you appreciate the extreme complexity and might of a human mind definitely, but not something you would like to do after second trip. I genuinely got disenchanted after my second time as it got predictible but I kept going like a moron who is unsure whether the sun would rise the next day. Trip causes extreme vulnerability to all mental illnesses and psychotic episodes. If you go past your limit teasing fear, insecurities and doubts you get stuck in a "bad trip" until you get sober as I do not believe you really can escape them after you fell in, and the line is extremely thin, unnoticable to the tripper I swear. You only appreciate that you stopped after you realized what you were playing with and how close it was. Do not confuse bad trips that you fell into and frying yourself resulting in extreme mental issues. IMO bad trips are characterized by falling into delusions that scare and you are unable to reason yourself out of it and the deeper you go the harder it is to return, while frying brain which is not at all related to bad trips results in psychosis no matter composure and no matter you were conscious and fine 5 seconds ago.

LSD review depending on one of 3 paths you get:
1. Good trips are 10/10
2. Bad trips are 1/10
3. Brain fry is -9999^9999/10

I am so done with it, I will try not to mention this demon substance unless it is my symptom diary for information and awareness spread
I am thinking of volunteering my time going to schools to discourage drugs but I will not be a boring fag saying "drugs = big evil" but rather compile everything I have experienced including the trips and genuinely present it in an unbiased way (or biased because this fag of a substance could have kill me, and I decided to continue anyway )

Good trips are wonderful but may it not outweigh you can die from LSD by proxy. They say psychedelics are safe, no lethal dose, no organ failure, no addiction, no withdrawal. But death might not be immediate. Neurological or mental ruin usually needs to stack up before collapsing, no single bad morning leads to hanging yourself in the evening, and first neuron that dies from alzheimers is not death but a sign of death approaching soon. I think it is better to overdose and die than to live as a complete cripple feeling eternal pain for the rest of your life that LSD might leave people as. I am very grateful I got it relatively light, I hope I will recover considering severity drops each day. I only appreciated my health when I lost it and it was gone. I graduated from my druggie phase.

>>169025
jeez man, get a grip. mattaku...

>>168989
no ure not!!!!