Meat sticks, jerky, nuts, protein bars. No cooking, no cleanup, single serving or resealable packaging, shippable, no refrigeration needed, and low carb. I want to find more godly foods like these.

"Pizza"

You need:
1 frozen pizza

To do:
- Slam that bomboclarkin pizza in the mofuggen oven
- Take pizza out of oven
- Cut into slices using irl csgo knife
- Suck it down
- Belch in your imouto's face and then slap your rotund belly in celebration of a job well done

Notes:
- Make sure to take it out of the box first
- If you're unsure about the timings, they're usually written on the box
- A variety of frozen pizzas are available so make sure you look at the picture on the box to see which one looks the most tastiest
- Ten points if you can make your imouto cry from the smell of your big boy burp
- Don't want to cut your pizza into slices? Simply fold in half like a calzone

You lads need to learn to cook proper food.

Beef Curry (Hard):

Add a mix of water and canned tomato to a pot. Add finely chopped carrot.
Create a curry roux by melting a large amount of butter and 4 Tablespoons of flour on a pan and add spices; you can use cumin and coriander or curry powder, garam masala, or just every spice you have if you would like. Stir it until it is like a paste, then add to the pot.
Leave the pot to boil on a high heat at first and then lowering to a low heat when the pot begins to shake or steam slightly, be careful at this stage as the rice can burn due to contact with the bottom of the pot.
Brown beef on a pan with generous amounts of cooking oil, recommend rapeseed oil. Add spices and condiments of your choice to the beef, recommend black pepper and diced leek. Add the beef to the pot turn off the heat, leave it for a while.
Cook rice. Serve the curry with the rice.
The trick to making cook rice is having enough roux, too little roux and it sucks.

Pancakes (Easy):
Mix milk with flour and eggs (like 2 or 3) until it has a semi-viscous consistency, sort of like the consistency of cum is ideal. Too viscous and it makes it harder to spread on the pan.
Add butter to a pan until melted, pour the pancake mixture so that is spreads as thinly as possible, after a couple minutes it will solidify and you'll be able to flip it with a spatula.
Serve with melted chocolate (melt in microwave), and/or lemon juice. Jam is also good with it, so is chopped bananas.

Sorry OP, but your cooking tutorials will never measure up to my sensei's, Chef Steven Reed.

>>144435
this was amazing, luved every second of it1

"Ramen (japanese spaghetti)"

You need:
1 pack of microwave instant ramen
about 3 oz. of water or loli pee
a trash can to throw the flavor packet in
seasoning, I recommend garlic pepper

To do:
Put ramen and fluid in bowl
Microwave 2 mins
Flip ramen brick and maybe stir to get it all wet
Microwave for another 2 mins
Stir again and add seasoning and maybe some cheese or ranch or something

this is my kind of food :3

>>144454
>3 oz.
oops I meant 6 oz., I hope no one burned their ramen

>>144432
Same here. Looking for stuff like that because it's so easy to eat and store. Here's some other foods like this:
Canned eggs in water
Pemmican
Hardtack (unpleasant)
UHT milk (the kind that doesn't come in jugs)

I like to make sturfry its a lot easyer than you think!

step one (skip this buy buying precut veggies)cut up veggies, onion, broccoli, mushrooms, tofu, carrots and what ever you want

step two turn the stove to mid/med high heat on and find a pan any pan

step 3 throw all the ingredients into the pan add oil and push them around for a couple min

step 4 after a couple min of pushing around the mixture add a fuck tone of soy sauce and mix util a little is left in the pan

step 5 eat out of pan

step 6 put in a sink with a bunch of other unclean dishes and make clean up tommarows problem

i just put chicken and carrots in a crock pot most days. other than that i eat a block of cheese every day.

>>144482
>i eat a block of cheese every day
bro how do you shit

>>144485
what do you mean? i have no problem shitting.

>>144488
teh crap have higher chances to not flush properly and smudge.

>>144490
that doesn't happen to me. my shits are normal.

Food thread becoming poop thread. This is so deep...

>>144500
What goes in must come out. It is the circle of life...

my beloved