CULINARY SINS and FAIL!Confess to things you did as a cooking n00b! Or really bad, reckless, and funny things in general regarding cooking!Mine-I whisk matcha with a toothbrush I later use for brushing teeth to this day.-I attempted getting drunk from hon mirin but almost puked.-I used to chew on used teabags. They were already not that strong and wet, perfect until you rip it with your tooth and it becomes a mess.-I still can't use a microwave and get anxious because I would make a retard of myself in case of dealing with it in front of anyone or being tasked to warm something by someone.-I used to boil spaghetti in a tiny vessel. I realized it is the reason it gets sticky almost 2 years later, no more scrubbing till my hand melts at last.-I fried cutlets in an electric toaster. Oil was everywhere when I returned.-I tried leaving the remaining food in fridge for later. The bowl was big enough that when I closed it, it just broke from the impact of the door of the fridge and spilled everything.-I use one hitter glass pot pipes for a straw because plastic straws are banned in Europe.-I left eggs boiling, it was evening. I went fapping while they boil and decided to get drunk because why not. When I got drunk I decided to smoke pot. I lost track of time and reality. Next morning my flatmates tell me to clean the puke I left through the corridor and the bathroom, they first thought it was blood because of color and being sticky like blood, but in fact it was dark underdigested mochi! And they told me that I was an absolute fucking retard having had forgotten that the eggs were on fire the entire night. I only realized what had happened the following day. Landlord was not informed as far as I know.Marked for deletion (Old)
>-I still can't use a microwavegood because they can aspl0de at ANY TIEM!
One time I reheated a half-eaten cheeseburger in the microwave and didn't realize the shiny wrapper it was in was partially aluminum foil. It made colorful sparks and a probably toxic smoke came out of the microwave but the burger was still delicious. Another time I drank some of my pee after eating cool ranch doritos and it tasted kind of like cool ranch doritos. Another time I ate a bunch of chocolate bars and it gave me diabetes and cavities.>plastic straws are banned in EuropeLOL why? Are europeans so dumb they suck the straws so hard it goes down their throats?
>>112967(Long derail message / scroll)........If America decided one day to isolate from us we would collapse into anarchy or turn into a North Korea because people are too immature for a self sufficient self governing civilized society as of 2024. All they do is bidding who is the nicest most compassionate and equitable boy while they are completely dark beneath that surface and hate every human. Mercury thermometers are illegal too because too many idiots tried eating them. Now we are getting plastic bottles with attached caps by EU mandate. They say it is to prevent people from trashing nature with caps but now I see whole bottles in rivers, thank you to the EU for making people pollute my lovely rivers and forests. And they want to ban ciggies. They want to mandate camera watching car drivers at all time and black boxes for cars and they discuss requiring blowing into an alcohol detector to start your mandated electric car with chinese spyware and bloatware, and probably requiring subscription to unlock full power of your engine very soon. I wonder if their final goal is cars detecting you infringing on traffic laws or any laws in general, then locking you inside and self driving you to the police station with all evidence already recorded and ready to be transferred. And they want to make p2p encryption illegal and mandate client-sided message scanning before sending. EU recently allowed itself to set EU-wide taxes like a country. As far as I know EU already made an EU-wide digital wallet tied to your ID you cannot opt out of. And they fingerprint you when filing for an ID or any government document, alternatively they scan your eye and save it. Where I live wood and coal got banned from warming houses, then they banned eco alternatives, and gas got banned too recently. My parents will have to throw out a third furnace this decade. Now you have to dig into ground to gather heat that way, face legal consequences or you freeze. I am not much into politics of it but this little that I know already is depressing. If you are an American please invade any day. They got no idea people don't make 20000€/month to afford all these whims and not everyone has time to care about it. I'm just depressed because I don't care about their politics and I want to have a simple life. I am not a criminal to bo watched like that. No human dignity, no trust. They treat adults like kids who would die of mercury poisoning if they left us with mercury thermometers. You can't outvote anything because retards are overwhelming majority and minority gets nothing but burden of feeding the majority.
>>112972if you want to immigrate to america you can just get a good tan and learn a few mexican phrases like "que?" and "no", then take a vacation to mexico and walk north until you get here.
>>112950some of these are incredibly concerningplease just get another toothbrush for your matcha if you absolutely insist on using one, they're like 4EUR or whatevermicrowaves are pretty ez, put something in for 1min, see if it's hot, if not, 30 more seconds, repeat until warmthe spaghetti thing is annoying with my family since they all complain about boiling so much waterbut no, you absolutely need all that water for the pasta starchas for me, my one story was being told to cook this thing of steaks years ago despite having no idea what to doit is hard to describe the abysmal flavor, probably because I ended up overheating the oil and ruined itonly ruined one though since I absolutely expected to cock it up lmao, I put the rest right fucking back (＾Д^;)>>112972this probably should be its own threadit does feel nice being in the USA a lot of the time though, even if the US is absolutely full of its own dumb bullshit (go ahead, get hospitalized for something serious here lmao -- either you're rich enough to pay whatever your insurance decided to shrug off (which is often most of it) or poor enough that any attempt at debt collection would be like getting blood from a stone so who cares, and if you're not rich but not poor... well, you might be poor now)but again, this really should be its own thread, bitching about national issues (´人｀)could be fun ヽ(´∇`;)ノ
i forgot my pasta was cooking and it burned
>>112990( ´ω`)
>>113004that's more of a (;´Д`) situation if you ask me
It took me like 8 attempts to cook rice correctly. The problem was that electric stoves take 50 years to cool down, so even though I lowered the temperature, it basically stayed at max temperature for the entire cooking duration. I've never heard of that before and none of the cooking guides (which instructed me to use high heat and then lower it) told me to be aware of that so I don't blame myself. The solution I came up with was to pre-heat a second stove at lower temperature and switch to that.I tried to cook a fish twice. First time I put it on top of cooking paper on a baking tray, and the whole thing burned and filled the kitchen with smoke. It works for heating smaller cooked fish cuts, but not for cooking a bigger fish. Second time I got a glass pan and put the fish in there, it burned again even without paper and the pan got ruined, the fish was good although dry. I guess I needed to use a lower temperature and/or to cover it with foil, but I never bothered to try again.I've had lots of eggs "explode" in a pot, causing all the contents to pour out. It happens if I put cold eggs into boiling water, so I just started putting the eggs into hot water some minutes before putting them into the pot.I've never succeeded with tea. I don't know if it's because I'm doing it wrong or because my sense of taste is dull due to allergies or because "proper" tea isn't sold here, but no matter how many times I try or what kind of tea I use, it always tastes like hot cardboard water. The odor is sometimes nice though.Once I accidentally turned on the stove even though I meant to turn on the oven, there was a baking tray on top and it became red with heat and some cooking paper on top got burned.
>>113005（ ´,_ゝ`）
Use a gas stove
>>112967It's for like environmental protections or some shit
Hey i also used to chew on used teabags until they rip and spill everything I can't think of any fails but i remember that i used to cook rice, put some on a plate, cover it with cheese, microwave it and eat it as a shitty meal.It sounds horrible but i liked it a long time ago.
>i used to cook rice, put some on a plate, cover it with cheese, microwave it and eat it as a shitty mealI just did that with ramen a few hours ago and it was delicious. It's just like mac 'n' cheese.