Shhhh!!! As your lolicon-friend, HIDE!!! You cant say this!! Hide before b00b monster get you!!!

>>174884
I'm curious whether this whole thing comes from your preference for lolis, as in, by jerking to lolis you feel more satisfied, feel that the orgasm was "worth it", or your (using your words here) fear/anxiety towards older women/women older than you. Or both, I mean, lolis are the exact opposite of adult women in many respects, so maybe whatever fears you have towards older women are healed or cancelled by much younger women, or lolis. Would be very interesting if that's the case for you, sort of consuming lolicon works as a coping mechanism.

Actually I still don't quite understand what you're really afraid of. You mentioned your mother being abusive so maybe there's not much else to understand beyond that, you just associate women older than you with your mom, which is also a woman that is older than you. Idk this is probably simpler than it looks, sorry. Also apologies for not relating to your feelings, my attraction towards loli (and shota) comes more from them being cute and innocent and the whole taboo around it.

Do report back though, I'd love to hear more from you. We don't have these kinds of longer-form OPs very often.

from the sound of it, you seem to view breasts as a dominant thing.
also eye contact with guys is linked to testosterone, maybe you feel more confident having conquered a loli in your fantasy which boosts testosterone and makes you feel good.
But breasts in your mind are associated with mommy dom and you feel like a pathetic baby for liking them which lowers your testosterone and makes you feel bad.

>>174885
Teh boob mostner?

>>174886
>whether this whole thing comes from your preference for lolis
>lolicon works as a coping mechanism

Both. I know this for sure because I wasn't always like this. I was 15 when I discovered lolicon on 4chan and I would jerk off to it frequently, but not all the time. While I had always been shy around both girls my own age and adult women, I wasn't so deathly afraid of them as I am now. I was very attractive, and I had girls flirting with me a lot, even though I was too autistic to ever make a move on them. I had a lot of close female friends, occasionally girlfriends too. I believed that one day I would find love. My motivation for fapping to lolis was purely because they made my PENIS hard. I did not feel alienated from womankind and was not attempting to evade them through fantasies.

It was when I was in my late 20's that my lolita complex started to progress. I had gotten my own apartment a couple of times, but they didn't work out for various reasons and I ended up living with my mother again. You might ask why I would move back in with an abusive person, but I did not understand myself to be the victim of abuse. She was very manipulative such as that I felt I deserved all this bad treatment. And, she wasn't totally a horrible person. She does love me, but she was abused herself and doesn't comprehend what she is doing.

By my late 20's, my looks had faded considerably (alcohol, cigarettes and drugs probably did that), and I was becoming more isolated. So while I was never a success with women, now I began to feel like a true loner, someone who truly could not find a mate no matter what, no matter how much they wanted to. By my late 20's I had also learned to stand up to my mother more and more. In response, my mother's abuse became more and more severe. And it's around this time that I started to obsess over little girls, like really obsess over them. They're like oxygen to me, they're like sunlight to a plant. I need them. They don't seem to care that I look like a rapey fent zombie, I smile at them whenever I see them outside and they smile back. Always the warmest smiles... no one can smile at you the way a little girl can...

So there is a base physical attraction to children innate in me, but adult women also make my PENIS hard. The obsession though, is purely psychological. I very barely scratched the surface with how obsessed I am with little girls...

>I'd love to hear more from you. We don't have these kinds of longer-form OPs very often.
I'm glad I had the guts to come back to this thread. It actually means a lot to me that you've listened and that you're engaging in a sincere manner. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but not a reply as thoughtful as yours. So really, thank you.

P.S. I do live by myself in a stable environment now.

>>174887
YEAH, AND I DON'T WASH MY FUCKIN' HANDS NEITHER

>>174888
>you feel more confident having conquered a loli in your fantasy
Often the case, but not always. Sometimes it's all about little brats dominating me and not the other way around. Though yeah, usually it is basically a gentler form a rape...

>>174889
>And it's around this time that I started to obsess over little girls, like really obsess over them. They're like oxygen to me, they're like sunlight to a plant. I need them.
I see what you mean by "both" now, yeah. Interesting how your attraction to lolis evolved overtime into something more than just "they look really hot", it's really beautiful in a way.
>I smile at them whenever I see them outside and they smile back. Always the warmest smiles... no one can smile at you the way a little girl can...
Haha I'm jealous. I wish I could be more comfortable around children like that (and comfortable with being a lolicon in general), but I'm always afraid I'll get outed as a lolicon, so I get extremely anxious around them and don't know what to do. I'm not at all open about this stuff either. Hopefully when I start living on my own this will change.
>It actually means a lot to me that you've listened and that you're engaging in a sincere manner.
>So really, thank you.
No problem at all! I very rarely get the chance to talk about lolicon openly and sincerely like this with other people, so I should be thanking you for making this thread.

Why not just get off to oppai lolis?

thank you for moving this thread

thank you for moving this thread so that real /b/tards can participate instead of a bunch of cum eating fujoshis

if you can afford therapy why not get testosterone supplements instead?

>>174890
>I'm always afraid I'll get outed as a lolicon, so I get extremely anxious around them and don't know what to do

Trust, you won't get in trouble for smiling at a little girl. I'm a crusty ojisan who couldn't be more conspicuous, LOL. Plus if you're a /j/osei, people will never assume you're a pervert, because women are never perverts.

Little girls, usually, are like puppies. They'll just instantly trust you and are nice to you for no reason. They'll just smile at you, they might even know why you're looking at them and get a kick out of it too. And the parents, I don't know. I never bat an eye at the parents so I don't even know if they notice me eyeing up their daughters or not. Probably not. After all, they're busy trying to get their groceries or whatever other errand done and they're not going to accuse some random person of being a pedophile in public, disrupting their whole day to create a scene over a glance. You also have to realize that many, if not most, parents treat their children almost as pests, as an inconvenience. They're tired of their kids and just wanna go home and eat oven pizza while watching Netflix. They aren't paying attention, and even if they noticed they wouldn't care. Even if they're not white trash slobs, the university-educated and erudite type of parent would be too meek and polite to object to your naughty little smile.

Anyway, it was nice talking to you. It felt good to get some of these thoughts written down and have someone read them. May a little girl smile upon you soon.

>>174884
pls don't give anyone a firm handshake after jerking off

>>174897
just no
don't fuck with hormones

>>174889
I can relate to some of this. I always feel best when I've fapped to 1o11is, and my interest has definitely grown over time. At times I go through periods of absolute obsession, but they don't tend to last more than maybe a week