he sent me this in private. damn epic if u ask me! king rabbitfield!

>>168347
OH MY GAH.

i'd imagine it looks like this

>>168347
>>168474
I'll bet both of those are true because I imagine Rabbitfield-kun to not stick to one setup at a time because he jumps from safe house to safe house evading international law enforcement

>>168347
is that gore screaming show? very epic...

I will not show my real things, but I could make a mockup pasokon with lsd paper
My machines are pretty standard besides safety measures

Just kidding, i will not oxidize such a precious and fragile resource
It has been almost 40 days and I have hearing issues in one ear probably from chemical imbalance, vision is warping to an extent but not as badly, temperature issues, occasional fear/depression/derealization + nausea and headaches
Today I think I had sleep paralysis again, I had my bag in the corner of the room and metal elements were shiny in contrast to rather dim colors around them, I truly believed they are eyes of two random cats reflecting light and they were standing in extreme positions and I panicked
When I fully opened my eyes wood looked quite red for a second, then it faded to gold in a second and in another second back to normal and I felt dizzy and nauseous for a few seconds, very odd, but these episodes used to last longer like minutes
Trip never ends, party hard

you can't post fuuko without me!! ヽ(`Д´)ノ

reminds me of a youtube vid about a never ending trip. He claimed it's been 3 months and he's still not comming down.

>>168548
Too bad laws prevented study of psychedelics because I am not sure how to recover properly, all I do is I wait and hope it fades away as brain recallibrates to a new reality
Perma trip is what they call significant and persistent mental damage from it, that is what happens when souls get broken, mental arteries pop until their soul bleeds out as they watch it helplessly

I don't think I damaged myself mentally as much as physically, it is getting better daily, I would not mind such stunt again in the future but the duration is too long for my liking and it requires one full day for the trip and at least one more for regaining energy and recovery
It also requires commitment to be of good hope, have a nice place, have nice things around and requires you to not get bored for a single moment for at least 10 hours straight and I assure that in peak a real life minute feels like at least 10 inside my mind. If you get bored you get sent to a mental jail overthinking your inside, like a black hole - you will not escape when you pass event horizon, so change course while you can
I was looking at a song cover moving and I believed I was watching a full movie, I did not know or care what it is about but it felt like 2 hours of a real movie, and I noticed I was wrong only when the song had ended and cover changed, the song was like 4 minutes long. I was genuinely shocked and I did not understand what had happened for quite some time.

>>168561
>Perma trip is what they call significant and persistent mental damage from it,
some call it HPPD, I call it opening your third eye.

As far as physical side-effects go, not much you can really do besides lower inflammation and promote neurogenesis. For anti-oxidants I like liposomal vitamin C and S-Acetyl-L-Glutathione. For the brain: lion's mane and 4,-DMA-7,8-DHF. also 7,8-DHF for shorter duration.

According to an old hypothesis of adrenochrome being a proponent in psychosis, niacin can rapidly metabolize the adrenaline byproducts as they are methyl donors. It was thought that LSD increased production of adrenochrome (which is why they used it as a model for psychosis), and that a large application of vitamin C would bring patients back to a baseline. I never got to try it, but I was always curious if either niacin or vitamin C would abort a trip.

>>168565
Have you had it?

>>168567
Oh yes very much. Although it has been 3 or so years since I've last tripped so things have normalized to some degree, but it is simply one of those things that will never leave you. For better or worse, once your mind is open it cannot be fully closed. Such is the lot of the shaman class. With people that can't handle it, they can always go to jebus or something.

Also, you cannot be broken; there isn't a self to be broken in the first place (anatta). It's the conservation of mass, energy cannot be created nor destroyed. What is observed as self is particular rivers or streams of Karma that flow back into the same ocean. Rather than an outright denial of individuality or core essence, I simply find this paradox of selfhood to be a good reminder for non-attachment.

>>168568
I went to the deepest depth and I felt it all. When it started going bad during comedown (for whatever reason) I feel like it was too explicit and I got sucked into that train of thought. I consciously do not fear emptiness and I know it to be correct but while I still am alive in a human form bound by human world then this experience b0rkz humanity, you no longer are a human or even alive. I entirely know emptiness and I wish I never entirely experienced it, too soon. Human life feels correct only if you immerse yourself in human world, otherwise you are out of place and continuation makes no sense as there is no ego to propel intentions and channel them into actions, and emptiness breaks ability to immerse with such a tiny and imaginary thing as human experience. Once you leave the mind and you cannot fully return you feel stuck between worlds belonging to neither, but I wonder how much I got fried chemically and how much we spiritualize it beyond reason.

At first I had a proper and complete ego death and no consciousness, but as consciousness started fading back stuff started feeling odd, long story short derealization/depersonalization and everything accompanied by extreme negative feelings and all mental illnesses imaginable. I suspect my subconscious just got scared or fried.

I simply wish for my ear to go back to normal, mood swings to end, and return to this illusory human life as much as possible (my silent hope is to be able to trip again one day just for sharpening senses, I love music on acid in particular). I am very susceptible to suggestion at the moment so please lie to me that I am alright and how I will heal, it will accelerate it. I will write myself a note with a pen and read it saying that, I will cover everything with such lies. That is the single thing that kept me from boundless insanity during it and I repeated it non stop for over 25 hours. So much so that my subconscious does not trust me at all (because it was still suffering despite me assuring it) until now and it got scared reading your response. I felt the same kind of ultimate fear as on acid, I breathed coldest sharpest air of death. So please help my mind reattach with my body a little and tell me what I wish to hear rather than anything else like reality. I need to distance myself from nirvana.

Placebo is as real as reality for the mind. Therapy is a placebo ultimately, therapist lies to you depending on what you want to achieve, they make up a self fulfilling prophecy, that is what I learned earlier on acid. The only reality that matters is the one I perceive and deem real and not objective world so let's ignore reality. I will manage my life but let's ease it and not send me to panic. Nirvana in it full scope is only appropriate for dead objects which innately posses the quality of nirvana so there is nothing to achieve, but I am not dead yet, I plan to live this life until its natural end because I say so. Managing detachment is beneficial for daily life to move on after losses that are natural for human condition, but full nirvana is not unless you plan to be dead like an hour after it. The memory has been weaved into me but I wish for it to fade and fade, I will recall it when time comes but it is too early now. Satori state is not for humans, full nirvana is not for living things, none of us are ready

If you do not lie to me that I am alright and I will heal I will be sad!!
Please brainwash me, convince me well and I promise not to dig deeper once I buy a lie I want to believe, and I will not attempt to think deeper or check it with all my might

Nirvana was so straightforward and simple, simplest of all concepts, but it crushes ego and there is no drive or will anymore and I can't live a human life without it. I called nirvana death during life years ago but in fact that is exactly it. When spirit is dead body becomes pointless garbage, but body is made of immutable essence and I am my body and I am made a human now, and I make a selfish wish to be a human for the next 50 or so years. I simply wish to be as close to a human again as possible.

Lie to me lie to me

You are alright, you are safe, everyone loves you and you will heal, you are very healthy already and everything is good

(I didnt have a breakdown, it is my regular longpost)

>>168587
>I consciously do not fear emptiness and I know it to be correct but while I still am alive in a human form bound by human world then this experience b0rkz humanity, you no longer are a human or even alive.

For me, the realization of nothingness gave me peace through its singular clarity. I would rather accept a painful truth than a comforting lie. This place is illusion/maya, but that doesn't mean that there aren't great experiences and things to learn here. The goal is to be in the world, but not of the world.

When one is injured, there are two types of pain: The physical pain being felt, and the mental pain. The second kind of pain is a self-inflicted anguish - acceptance of this is Nirvana. The ultimate fear of the ego is the loss of ego - yet it is an important part of interacting with reality. It isn't something to be shucked away by any means, and it would be impossible to do so. Be like that dead Osiris whose remains were scattered across the corners of the earth by Sett, and ascended from his trial in the underworld with even greater strength. Jesus too, when he died for three days and three nights had descended into hell, had taken the keys from Satan himself and rose from the dead. Death is not something to be feared, for it is merely a doorway. It is possible to simultaneously have an ego and yet forsake its attachment. It's a paradox by nature, ineffable and divine. In the occult it's called 'the mysteries'


I won't lie to you, but from experience I know you're not screwed by any means. Your brain and your body have extraordinary healing abilities with a proper will. For a while I thought I would never get better too, but here I am. I recommend grounding techniques during those difficult transitory periods of life in the dark night of the soul. Cold showers and exercise are forms of yoga (yoga simply means 'to be one with the body') that I found particularly effective. It's quite difficult to have any sort of dissociative feelings in that state.

This is an issue I ran into quite frequently as I was too smart for my own good and would spend a great deal of time in my head. The goal is to get into that flow state, or Tao, through whatever means is suitable. Creating art, sojourns through nature, and what have you. Those are the things that life is about. Animals are the best observation of this, they suffer from none of our mental woes, a cat lives as a cat and does what a cat does. You can think, or you can do - you can't do both.