Pesonally, I cannot stand Asuka Langely Soryu, as she constantly reminds me of my tormentors. In 10th grade, I was often called a "retard" by the others due to the fact I had aspergers syndrome. Unlike Shinji however, I tried to connect with them in spite of their attitude towards me, but the more I tried to befriend them the more they hated me for it, thus the more I hated myself for even trying. I even reached out to others for help, even the teachers. But as friendly as they were, none of them helped me at all.

But the person she reminds me most of all is Grace, who attended trade school with me. I wanted to get to know her better but she was hesitant. We eventually got closer but as we did, she would constantly point out fault after fault I did like a policeman, like a hypocrite. One time I stood up for myself and said, “You know what Grace? You're a fault finder. You constantly nitpick at other people’s issues when you don’t have the audacity to admit your own!” And she only thing she said was, “I will not be yelled at!...fucking asshole.” And walked off. Despite this I kept trying because I wanted to understand her so she wouldn't have to feel alone, nor I. But the more I tried to confront her, the more she openly resented me and acted like the drama queen.

Whenever Asuka appearas on screen, I cannot help but feel utterly ashamed for not trying hard enough to understand my tormentors. And yet people still waifu her, fetishize her, idolize her, and worship her. I cannot help but feel like an outcast, which to this day is one of my greatest insecurities especially in the wake of a pandemic.