good day people, my name is robert and i am a federal agent, i have been yearning for a promotion but actually doing my job is really tiring so if anyone here has committed a crime and wants to go to jail for it please let me know by posting the crime in question and your current location

the crimes i'm looking for are severe things such as terrorism, mass murders, cybercrime against targets such as the government, etc...
do NOT reply if all you did is some shit like shoplifting

thank you for your cooperation, oh and if someone asks i caught you by myself after months of personal investigation