You lads need to learn to cook proper food.

Beef Curry (Hard):

Add a mix of water and canned tomato to a pot. Add finely chopped carrot.
Create a curry roux by melting a large amount of butter and 4 Tablespoons of flour on a pan and add spices; you can use cumin and coriander or curry powder, garam masala, or just every spice you have if you would like. Stir it until it is like a paste, then add to the pot.
Leave the pot to boil on a high heat at first and then lowering to a low heat when the pot begins to shake or steam slightly, be careful at this stage as the rice can burn due to contact with the bottom of the pot.
Brown beef on a pan with generous amounts of cooking oil, recommend rapeseed oil. Add spices and condiments of your choice to the beef, recommend black pepper and diced leek. Add the beef to the pot turn off the heat, leave it for a while.
Cook rice. Serve the curry with the rice.
The trick to making cook rice is having enough roux, too little roux and it sucks.

Pancakes (Easy):
Mix milk with flour and eggs (like 2 or 3) until it has a semi-viscous consistency, sort of like the consistency of cum is ideal. Too viscous and it makes it harder to spread on the pan.
Add butter to a pan until melted, pour the pancake mixture so that is spreads as thinly as possible, after a couple minutes it will solidify and you'll be able to flip it with a spatula.
Serve with melted chocolate (melt in microwave), and/or lemon juice. Jam is also good with it, so is chopped bananas.