>>144271
I can't remember if she had a means of contacting me after we split, but if she did I can imagine her opinion of me might have changed. Thinking back again (it was a few years ago now) I can totally see why.

I came away from the situation feeling a bit used. She knew I was a friendless NEET, that I couldn't really say no to her. The only reason I didn't mind being used is because she was so much fun to be with. One of my last communications with her was a strange letter I wrote while hypomanic. I compared her to intravenous drug use, saying that she was destroying me and that I felt enslaved to her, but that I'd willing follow her into the abyss nonetheless. In retrospect I can see how this letter probably made her feel incredibly guilty and bad about herself. She felt guilty about cheating, then about how it affected me. She probably also thought of herself as an immoral, promiscuous, man-eating seductress. Well, I think she liked imagining herself as all those things during sexy times. But when you're alone and brokenhearted it probably hurts to think of yourself like that.

That's all I have to say about this story. I'm going to try to stop thinking about it now.