Guys, I think I'm gay. Yesterday at work, some dude filled the toilet with a mound of paper, and beneath it was a giant, unbroken snake of shit. At first I took the plunger and tried to move the poop out of the way and break it a little so the john wouldn't clog, but then... I don't know what came over me, but I grabbed the turd, and started jacking off with it.
As soon as I came, I felt sick, realizing what I had just done. I threw the turd back in the bowl, and got some splashback on my face. Shit water was in my hair, and my hand was covered in slurry turd juice.
I flushed the toilet with my shitty hand, then proceeded to pull my pants up with it, and ran over to the sink to wash the shit off. I washed them three times, but my hand still smelled like pure turd. Didn't help that my job has that cheap ass unscented soap that smells like rubber & cum.