>Amerika is the same crap everywhere you go
>Hell, even within states you'll find regions that feel different from the rest of the state.

By culturally different, you mean people speaking anything besides English?
Up in Alaska, there's some efforts to revive the native languages. IIRC in Bethel, they teach Yup'ik as the first language and then English as their second. Not sure about Koyukon or Aleut, but I think Yup'ik has a decent chance of living on in the forseeable future. But English is still used as the state language, at least in the cities. I think that's also why Cajun French is dying right now - there's no incentive to learn it when the surrounding areas speak English. It's isolated, too. Coupled with the fact children were beaten for speaking their native tongue (which also happened up here), and that's another factor in why it's dying off.

>america should probably actually be like 5 countries

...like what. I'm actually curious.
Texas, Vermont and California (albeit very briefly) were independent countries. YMMV on how independent they were or if they were just annexations waiting to happen. There's also Hawaii, though that was also overthrown by settlers and turned into a state not long after. If you ask me, independence shouldn't just be a question of whether you used to be a country yourself but whether there are any rights you believe you aren't being given that America can't grant already. Not to mention if you can be self sufficient enough to not be politically held hostage by a greater power. Significant cultural differences, though not always necessary, can also help in fermenting nationalism and therefore make a better case for independence. Just look at Corsica v France, or Xinjiang/Turkestan v China.

But if you're talking pure hypothetical, then enough about boring realistic logic. Here, I have a blank map of the lower 48. What say we carve the shit out of it?

DISCAIMER: To Federal agent-san, I do not condone separatism in the United States. I do not condone any radical movement. Please do not take away my internets privileges.