>Most people with the same interest tend to self-insert as the trap, if anything
On the contrary, I self insert as the person fucking the trap. I don't know about you, but I feel weird self-inserting as a trap when I look like a bearded vagrant you'd find loitering around a parking lot looking to jump people for cash. （ ´,_ゝ`）
Part of the appeal for me is because traps are usually characters who are naturally effeminate. Like in some ero-doujin the trap is blackmailed into crossdressing but before that they usually have qualities that are girly well before that point. It's hard to describe but there's some things fiction has over real life, and this is one of those things. I don't think I would like a real crossdresser in the same way if suddenly he took off his makeup and clothes. At that point, the illusion is ruined. Now I'm just staring at a dude, my dick is soft, and I'm likely regretting every decision that got me into that hypothetical situation. (;´Д`)

>the gayness throws me off
This is going to sound contradictory to the above buuuuut(t) I more or less have come to accept that traps are ghey in any connotation unless if it is a solely trap-on-female action (which I also appreciate). The majority of trap pr0ns tend to be male-on-male so implied relationships don't really faze me. Matter of fact, sometimes it makes it better. Domination and blackmail can be hot but so can loving couples.

No, I don't like hairy muscle men so don't even ask. Only traps. If you contact me saying you are a trap, you are lying. You don't exist. Don't even try to fool me. (`Д´)