Dearest Mr. 123132,

I am most disappointed that you have not attached a written letter to this "cute picture" you have sent. My high spirits have been dashed, for you have sullied this otherwise splendid affair of back and forth writing. May your name be spat upon with disdain by every passerby. You contemptuous peon.

Yours truly,
Anonymous

P.S. I will forgive you on the condition that you send me a photo of yourself dressed as if you were a fair maiden. Furthermore, I request you pose yourself bent over, as if you are about to engage in sodomy. That would be quite marvelous.