Going back to not having friends is easy, but I can't promise you the happiness part. If you have autism, consider the double empathy problem - autistics get along with each other just as well as "allistics" (non-autistics) do with each other, but combinations of autistics and allistics struggle to understand or empathize with each other. Perhaps you're an autistic trying to befriend allistics, and that's why you feel un-human and unable to connect - it's worth considering at least

Personally, I want friends and people in my life - I got to experience it a little as a kid, but I haven't had anyone since I was 16. It ain't easy to make friends once you're in your thirties and spent half your life socially isolated, I can tell you that much - so I don't recommend intentionally driving everyone away if there's the possibility that you might regret it later