>>180203
depends on severity but if it does not improve it truly is the end of the world

i wanted caffeine to have a generally safe boost in concentration, and melatonin helps me regulate sleeping as i was always stubborn with new sleep times and i had to skip night to fix it, i was never interested in anything besides psyches, i did what i wanted and i am done now, i dont want to worsen it, i hope you dont find out how your senses just dont work and mind does not work and reality b0rks and you cant escape it, i wish you never experience it

you cannot see straight lines, you cant tell colors besides most obvious like red from blue, cant tell edges of things as they have dark smoke emanating from them and blending colors, everything sparks both in the dark and brightest things too but bright things suck because you will burn the image into your head and it can hover over your vision for easily over a minute like you read a paper and you have the letters visible or you look at screen for a second and now you see it for another minute covering all your vision and looking at anything that is not dark hurts and makes you wanna puke while you can barely see anything in bright rooms as if they were all dark, i had troubles seeing anything when daylight ran out even in rooms with light, sounds sound electric and low quality like a shitty microphone, you cannot focus, something makes your mind run through nonsensical words and sentences constantly, you mistake your envoronement for faces and eyes and nobody can convince you otherwise and voices of people become unintelligible sometimes and you feel sharp and cold fear as more and more things dissolve into smoke and swimming lights that burn like lava and there is no world outside of it, you cant read, you cant understand, you barely can speak, you cant memorize anything, panic attacks, being stuck for 8 hours daily believing nothing is real and you are not real and your perception is separate from body, the depression and suicidal ideation you cant control, insomnia and most vivid nightmares if you dare sleep longer than 10 minutes, random blinking crosses everywhere, vision brightness cylcles up and down every 2 or 3 seconds constantly forever even closing eyes does not help and you see imaginary squares sparking constantly day and night when awake and when sleeping and there is no escape, closing eyes dont not help with anything because you see all reality bork in head, hearing imaginary things like they are real mostly repetetive zaps and crickets and dogs growling and nothing will help you, you are an animal with no thoughts and senses jailed inside a body you dont feel you own in a world that is just as made up as anything you saw on drugs with nobody being real and all people are bots and items, you go sleep to shapes you wake up to shapes, it is surreal, i lost about 3 months of my life to extreme suffering

not even going into how bad my time during the trip was, it was insanity, if i had to go through it again i would jump off a tall building any time, death is preferable to going though it again