/b/, hear me out.
I’ve discovered the truth about sandwiches.
Every sub, hoagie, hero, panini… controlled by Big Lettuce.
You think you’re choosing your toppings freely? Wrong. They’re monitoring your mayonnaise intake.
I’ve traced secret mayo supply routes through three states.
Next step: infiltrate the hoagie factories.
We either rise as free eaters… or perish under the mustard overlords.