If you're going to resort to crime to get off why not do something more rewarding that's also a victimless crime like sneaking into a women's restroom and finding a way to get the hot fudge and lemonade? You know how credit card thieves will install fake plastic/electronic parts onto an ATM? You could make a fake plastic toilet bowl to put inside one of the toilets and disable the flusher. Most people will just shrug and leave if the toilet doesn't flush and you can be in the next stall ready to retrieve the fresh, steaming hot lemonade and/or chocolate of the hot girl that just exited the stall. You can wait a minute for her to leave the restroom to avoid suspicion and you can peek out of your stall to see what she looks like and dump the prize out if she isn't hot and maybe have a cleaning kit with you. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't count as child molestation if you were caught eating a little girl's steaming hot poop if you never made any kind of contact with her, not even eye contact.