Every problem caused by a female is actually the fault of a man who wrongly expected his baby-making machine to do something other than make babies. If you put it in her mouth her teeth could scrape it and she'll puke all over the place, if you put it in her butt poop will get stuck under your foreskin and you'll get AIDS or something, and if you let her use her hands for anything other than hugging you during sex and rubbing your back after she'll probably fuck it up.